Does My Head Look Big In This?

The author utilizes specific home environments of the young characters to underline the differences in social status, cultural background, and upbringing. This is especially evident in the way she portrays the girls’ mothers. Chapters 8, 10, and 16 illustrate Leila’s difficulties in navigating her ambitions and aspirations with her mother’s narrow-minded idea of what her daughter’s future should be. She forbids Leila to go out shopping with her friends, claiming she is “a ‘disgrace’, wanting to go out and about in the streets” (62). What hurts Leila even more is how unfairly biased her mother is towards Leila’s brother, Hakan (who calls himself Sam to blend in with Christian Australians), allowing him to feel and act superior to everybody, and especially towards Leila, because she is an ambitious girl.

In Hakan’s eyes, Leila has no essential value, because his parents raised him to see women as inferior; that is why Leila must do all the chores and prepare a food plate for her lazy brother. In Chapter 16, Leila shares that her mother “just constantly pressurizes me about being so into my studies and not thinking about settling down” (106). Gulchin still clings on to the old customs of her native Turkey, believing this is the only right way for a girl to be: to marry at 16 and raise children and serve her husband. The irony is that Gulchin’s family in Turkey has long ago progressed away from such old-fashioned and patriarchal concepts, so that today Leila’s aunts and uncles “would have a fit if the girls wanted to get married before they finished their degrees” (106). By leaving Turkey and not adjusting in any way to contemporary Australia, Leila’s mother has remained stuck in time, and she now forces Leila to repeat the same pattern.

In contrast to Gulchin, Yasmeen’s mother, Cassandra (Chapters 10 and 13), is a free spirit, a rebellious woman with a wild streak, who teaches her daughter to express herself fully. Amal calls her Aunt Cassandra, which shows that she can connect with her more closely than with Leila’s mother. When Cassandra speaks about her arrival to Australia, she presents it as a grand adventure and tells the girls how “we had our fun too. Kissed in public and made people uncomfortable” (78). This is a stark contrast with Gulchin, who believes that even going out is sinful. The author further accentuates the difference by portraying Cassandra as having a “passion for interesting costume jewellery, dyed skirts and bloodstones” (93). In Amal’s eyes she is “cool and fun and easy to talk to” (94). Although Yasmeen is an observing Muslim, she does not wear a hijab, preferring to display her hair and face to best effect, which helps readers understand that the rules for wearing religious veils are not as strict as many people believe.

Through Yasmeen’s family, the author also underscores the negative influences of stereotyping. Many people in contemporary society believe that there is something that Amal calls “Muslim appearance” (Chapter 13). Presumably, this idea comes from the popular representation of Muslims as coming only from the Middle East, dark in complexion, with curly hair and dark eyes. (This manner of stereotyping also exists when it comes to people from Asia or Africa.) Amal’s description of Cassandra’s children as “her freckle-faced, dark-eyed, white daughter and chocolate-skinned son” (96) is an excellent example of how nature subverts expectations, and that judging people by their appearance is both superficial and wrong.

The author additionally gives us insight into the way Simone’s mother pressures her daughter to lose weight, contributing to Simone’s insecurities. Her mother believes the only way for her daughter to be attractive is if she is thin. This shows another common stereotype in contemporary society: that only slim women are attractive. Both men and women perpetuate this stereotype, but Simone’s mother is an excellent example of how a woman internalizes certain beliefs dictated by popular culture and continues to spread them, never thinking about the possible consequences of such actions. In that context, we can find a parallel between Simone’s and Leila’s mothers, as they both push their daughters to adjust to their narrow idea of what is acceptable. On the other hand, Amal’s mom and Cassandra are parallel characters in that they do not put pressure on their daughters to conform to a strict standard of dressing or behaving. The author shows us contrasting pairs of mothers to illuminate that differences come not only from religion but also from cultural background, education, and cultural influence.

We could also argue that there is another significant character pairing of mothers: Adam’s mother, who has left the family and moved to the Netherlands, and Mrs. Vaselli, who has renounced her son because of his becoming a Jehovah’s Witness. Both characters are absent from their sons’ lives but for different reasons. In Chapter 12, Adam states that he and his mother are “not close. She’s got kids and I get a postcard on my birthday” (91), implying that his mother does not care the same for him as she does for the children who live with her. (Mrs. Vaselli will start to share her story with Amal in future chapters of the novel.)

In Chapter 9, the author introduces Amal’s uncle Joe and Aunt Mandy, whose original names were Ismail and Aysha. Uncle Joe is the younger brother of Amal’s mom, and her “complete opposite” (70). In contrast to Amal’s parents who find a way to belong while observing their religion and honoring their origins, Amal’s uncle and aunt are “into changing their names, peroxiding their hair and acting like they were born in Wagga Wagga and not Jerusalem. They’re always freaking out about us being ‘fanatics’” (70). The author utilizes their characters to contrast the several points between complete assimilation and extreme refusal to assimilate (Leila’s parents, and Mrs. Vaselli to a certain extent). Amal’s parents represent the middle point of natural adjustment to the new country, and Uncle Joe and Aunt Mandy show desperation to blend in with Anglo-Saxon (white) Australians.

Chapter 17 introduces the sensitive topic of the September 11 Islamic terrorist attacks against the United States. Because the novel is set in 2002 (based on the events surrounding a terrorist attack on Bali), for Amal the news is still fresh and makes her wonder “how a powerful country like America, with people just like those who work down Bourke or Collins Street could be hit like that” (111). The terrible events provoked a deep sorrow in Amal, but also made her think about two additional significant things: People die in terrible circumstances every day yet she never mourned them in the same way. Secondly, she had to accept that the terrorists who committed such atrocities claimed they represented the Islamic State and religious law. The two ideas are possibly connected. On the one hand, mass murder provokes stronger reactions in us because we unfortunately get used to random or planned violence against individuals, but multiple deaths seem like too brutal a breakdown of natural laws of life. On the other hand, mass murder “in the name of God” puts everyone who belongs to a particular religion into a state of anguish, because most religious people are not violent, nor do they condone violence.

The author emphasizes the ambivalence of Amal’s feelings by depicting two different experiences on the bus, as Amal goes to school. The turned-up radio implies that all Muslims are violent, and Amal is horrified to notice that “the bus driver eyeballs me through the reflection of the mirror, looking at me as though I am a living proof of everything being said” (113). She feels shame and guilt as if just by being Muslim she has become a terrorist. However, a woman on the bus shows kindness and understanding, telling Amal, “dear, in my sixty-seven years I’ve never let politics tell me how to treat people” (113). Amal’s complex reactions regarding the terrorist attacks show us the difficulties Muslims face when acts of a radicalized group of people start to turn people and cultures against them. This, too, is an example of the dangers of stereotyping. The author reminds us once again that people are primarily individuals, with unique sets of character traits, and not symbols of larger groups.