Death Coming Up The Hill: A Novel

“How does a guy deal with being torn between two people he loves?”

This line reveals Ashe’s emotional struggle and the helplessness he experiences when caught between conflicting loyalties towards his parents. This sentiment reflects the dilemma faced by Ashe as he grapples with the dissolution of his family unit. The line highlights Ashe’s internal conflict, torn between his equally strong affections for both his mother and father, and portrays the emotional turmoil caused by the fractured relationships within his family.

“The thing is, there are all kinds of grenades in life; you don’t have to go to Vietnam to find them.”

Ashe’s realization reflects that conflict and turmoil exist beyond the boundaries of the Vietnam War. This statement underscores Ashe’s introspection about the presence of figurative “grenades” in life, symbolizing various forms of conflict and upheaval, not necessarily confined to a war zone. Ashe perceives the pervasive nature of strife and turmoil, reflecting on the parallels between the conflicts experienced in Vietnam and the tensions within his own family life.

“I wondered what was worse than dead, Angela said, ‘Missing in action.’”

This line encapsulates the haunting uncertainty and emotional turmoil associated with Missing in Action (MIA) status during the Vietnam War. Angela’s statement underscores the limbo experienced by families of soldiers who are categorized as MIA. The line highlights the weight of not having closure and perpetually awaiting news about their missing relatives.

“How could I celebrate when so much was going wrong?”

This line reveals Ashe’s conflicting emotions as he grapples with the distress surrounding him despite his anticipation of his 17th birthday. This statement reflects Ashe’s sense of guilt and unease about celebrating a personal milestone amidst the backdrop of ongoing societal turmoil, family conflicts, and the stark realities of war and death. This line emphasizes Ashe’s empathy and emotional awareness of larger societal issues, reflecting his introspection and moral compass.

“Protests in Chicago led to police violence that seemed un-American.”

This line encapsulates a crucial moment of societal upheaval during the Vietnam War era, emphasizing the discord and clashes between dissenting citizens and law enforcement. This statement epitomizes the broader theme of societal conflict and unrest, shedding light on the tumultuous period marked by protests against the war. By describing the resulting police violence as “un-American,” the line not only highlights the brutality witnessed but also challenges the conventional notions of American identity.

“It wasn’t just Vietnam; the world had gone nuts.”

The line reflects a broader sentiment beyond the confines of the Vietnam War, highlighting the pervasive chaos and turmoil that extended beyond the war’s immediate context. It signifies a deeper societal discord and upheaval, suggesting that the troubles are not confined solely to the war zone but are indicative of wider societal issues plaguing the world. This statement amplifies the theme of the Far-Reaching Horrors and Enduring Impacts of War.

“I wondered how many kids were walking wounded like me.”

This line illustrates Ashe’s isolation and inner turmoil upon returning to school, where he witnesses others openly sharing their experiences during summer break while concealing his own challenging reality. Ashe’s contemplation about hidden emotional wounds implies a broader context of individuals silently bearing the burdens of societal upheaval. This line not only reveals Ashe’s reluctance to disclose his personal struggles but also hints at the shared pain endured by many.

“I got my food, sat facing him, and prepared to listen to his pitch.”

This quote highlights Ashe’s conflicting emotions and the tension underlying his interaction with his father. The word “pitch” implies a persuasive attempt by Ashe’s father to convince him to live with him, hinting at a conversation laden with emotional weight and potential conflict regarding Ashe’s familial ties. This line underscores the idea of personal struggles within family dynamics, depicting Ashe’s inner turmoil as he navigates the complexities of loyalty and familial obligations.

“I’m going to fight for you, and I’m going to make her pay for what she has done.”

This line reflects Ashe’s father’s determination to separate Ashe from his mother and sister, emphasizing the escalating family conflict and the emotional toll it imposes on Ashe, caught in the midst of his parents’ separation and custody dispute. This line highlights the impact of parental discord and the detrimental consequences of family conflicts on Ashe’s emotional well-being.

“She grabbed my finger with her tiny hand, she grabbed my heart, too.”

The line portrays Ashe’s immediate emotional connection with his baby sister, Rosa, underscoring the powerful nature of familial love and the innate sense of responsibility Ashe holds towards his sister. Ashe’s immediate bond with Rosa disregards potential societal judgments over Rosa’s skin color, emphasizing his unconditional love.

“The very real weight of responsibility pressed on me from all sides after Rosa’s birth.”

Ashe feels a heightened sense of responsibility towards his family following the birth of his baby sister, Rosa. This statement reflects the theme of responsibility, portraying Ashe’s recognition of the need to step up and support his family during challenging times. Ashe’s realization of this added weight of responsibility showcases his maturity and willingness to take on a more significant role.

“The casualties over in Vietnam slowed; the carnage at home increased.”

This line shows the juxtaposition between the slowing casualties in Vietnam and the escalating turmoil within Ashe’s family. It highlights the shifting dynamics of turmoil, symbolizing the broader impact of war on personal lives and societal upheaval. This line aligns with the overarching theme of the Far-Reaching Horrors and Enduring Impacts of War, illustrating how the repercussions of conflict extend beyond the battlefield to profoundly affect familial dynamics and societal stability.

“Red rimmed his eyes, and his body sagged like he’d just finished a long march through the jungle.”

This line portrays the visible physical and emotional toll that stress and internal conflict have taken on Ashe’s father. The description evokes an image of his father’s exhausted and strained appearance, likening his demeanor to that of someone fatigued from enduring the rigors of a long and arduous journey. It serves as an illustration of the psychological distress experienced by individuals amid family conflict.

“The Army, she said, had just sent news about her brother: MIA.”

This line underscores the impact of the Vietnam War on Angela’s family, specifically highlighting the emotional turmoil and uncertainty experienced due to her brother being categorized as Missing in Action (MIA). This revelation adds a personal dimension to the wartime losses, portraying the distress and emotional upheaval faced by families like Angela’s who grapple with the uncertainty surrounding their missing loved ones.

“The warmth of Angela and her parents filled the room, and we floated home on it.”

This line encapsulates the emotional comfort and refuge Ashe and his mother find in the supportive atmosphere of Angela’s family. It emphasizes the notion of finding support and solace in adversity and showcases the healing power of empathetic connections and supportive environments during challenging times.

“Somehow, her mom had the energy to host a big meal despite all their worries about Kelly.”

This line illustrates the resilience and determination of Angela’s family to uphold a sense of normalcy and carry on with daily life despite their deep concerns about Kelly, Angela’s brother who is Missing in Action (MIA) in Vietnam. It highlights the family’s strength and resilience in the face of adversity, showcasing their ability to navigate through hard times while simultaneously finding solace and unity in shared gatherings and familial connections.

“It was my turn to sacrifice.”

This line portrays Ashe’s realization and acceptance of the sacrifices demanded of him to ensure the protection and well-being of his family. This statement signifies Ashe’s acknowledgment of the responsibility thrust upon him during tumultuous times. It showcases Ashe’s willingness to prioritize the safety and welfare of his family over his personal desires or safety, highlighting the selflessness and sense of duty ingrained within him.

“Waiting for the bus, we sat on a wooden bench holding hands, talking, and kissing like there was no tomorrow.”

This line reflects Ashe’s poignant and emotionally charged farewell with Angela before his deployment, emphasizing their intense connection and the urgency of the moment. This statement reflects the overarching theme of loss and sacrifice amidst the backdrop of war and personal turmoil, signifying the imminent departure and potential risks associated with Ashe’s military deployment. The phrase “like there was no tomorrow” foreshadows Ashe’s tragic fate.

“Boot camp will make men out of boys.”

This line encapsulates the ethos of military training and signifies the changes individuals experience in discipline, resilience, and readiness for combat. It underscores the metamorphosis that occurs as individuals transition from youthful innocence to battle-ready soldiers, ultimately portraying the lasting impact and transformation wrought by the demands of war on individuals’ lives and identities.

“I belong to the 101st Airborne now.”

This line reveals Ashe’s transformation as he enlists in the military, signifying the commencement of his journey as a soldier. This moment marks a significant shift in Ashe’s identity and life trajectory, illustrating his commitment to serving his country amidst the Vietnam War. Shortly after this enlistment, Ashe meets his demise. This line reflects the overarching theme of the Far-Reaching Horrors and Enduring Impacts of War and underscores the sacrifices made by individuals, such as Ashe. It reduces Ashe’s identity to that of a soldier, emphasizing the dehumanizing effects of war.

“I made sure my pay goes to Mom—and if I don’t make it, she’ll get the insurance, too.”

This line underscores Ashe’s selflessness and unwavering concern for his family’s welfare. It exemplifies Ashe’s sense of responsibility and selfless dedication to ensuring his family’s financial security even in the face of potential mortality during wartime. This statement also hints at the sacrifices that individuals are compelled to make amidst the tumult of war.

“Hill 937. Dug in, waiting for Operation Apache Snow to launch.”

This line captures the imminent danger and apprehension that Ashe faces as he prepares for a military operation during the Vietnam War. It evokes a sense of impending peril and unease, highlighting the harrowing experiences and the looming threat of combat that soldiers like Ashe confront in wartime. The line encapsulates Ashe’s internal struggle with fear, sacrifice, and the daunting reality of facing mortality amidst the chaos and brutality of war.

“I see Death coming up the hill, and I am not ready to meet him.”

In the Author’s Note, Crowe explains that he lifted this line from a letter written by an American soldier shortly before his demise. This line signifies Ashe’s emotional turmoil and his reluctance to embrace the inevitability of death amidst the chaos and brutality of the Vietnam War. It resonates with the theme of Loss and Sacrifice Amidst Turbulent Times.