45 pages • 1 hour read
Chris CrutcherDeadline
Fiction | Novel | YA | Published in 2007A modern alternative to SparkNotes and CliffsNotes, SuperSummary offers high-quality Study Guides with detailed chapter summaries and analysis of major themes, characters, and more.
Themes
The Confrontation of Mortality
Content Warning: This section of the guide describes mental health conditions, terminal illnesses, death by suicide, teenage pregnancy, and sexual abuse.
When 18-year-old Ben Wolf is diagnosed with a terminal illness and given one year to live, he must face his mortality and decide how to live life on his own terms. After his conversation with Doc Wagner at the novel’s start, he begins to realize how short and fragile life is. He doesn’t allow this truth to discourage him but rather sees it as a form of empowerment and motivation. Instead of using the prognosis as an excuse “to coast [and] catch up on partying” (1), Ben’s illness inspires him to think deeply about the meaning of life and death. Ben decides that he wants to use his final months to discover the world around him and to make definitive choices. His decisions to go “out for football” (1), ask out his crush Dallas Suzuki, read as much as he can, and befriend the town pariah, Rudy McCoy, illustrate his desire to live a meaningful, fulfilling life (10). He feels “blessed with nothing to lose” and therefore finds agency in his condition and prognosis (20).
Ben becomes particularly determined to use his new low-stakes situation to advocate for others and pursue social change. He stops fearing the consequences of rebelling against others’ expectations and begins challenging his community, peers, and authority figures to think more deeply about their influence on others and their capacity to create change, too. Because of his impending death, Ben starts a Malcolm X project that lives on after his passing, despite the risk that going against his teacher poses for his grades and graduation. Ben takes this passion outside of school and discusses social change with Rudy, and he also attempts to involve his community in his project. In doing so, he learns of their opposing beliefs and regressive views, which makes him even more determined to effect change.
Ben’s decision not to tell his family and community about his condition grants him the illusion of control over the remainder of his life. He fears that if he tells his loved ones the truth, they will treat him differently and he won’t be able to live the way that he wants to. In his isolation, however, he lacks authentic connection as he goes through such a difficult experience. The mentor-like, dream character of Hey-Soos reflects his inner desire to confront his mortality with others instead of alone. Additionally, over time, Ben comes to realize that keeping the truth from others is keeping him from fully confronting his mortality and acknowledging the reality of his condition. After he starts opening up to others about his prognosis, he is better able to come to terms with his life and impending death.
Self-Discovery and Personal Growth in the Face of Adversity
Ben’s prognosis launches his journey toward self-discovery and personal growth. Ben is a deep thinker and an empathetic individual at heart, and his newfound terminal illness amplifies these facets of his character. His condition thrusts him into a world of adversity and uncertainty, which in turn challenges him to grow and change. Ben’s conversations with his dream friend Hey-Soos trace Ben’s gradual maturation over the course of the novel. When Ben first starts talking to Hey-Soos, he discovers that he can ask him anything (48). The more they talk, the deeper and more complex these questions become. In turn, Ben and Hey-Soos’s dialogues convey the evolution of Ben’s outlook on life and on himself.
At the start of the novel, Ben defines himself according to his relationships with his family. His mom’s mental health condition particularly affects his sense of identity. For as long as he can remember, Ben has believed that if he says “the right thing, [makes] a little more convincing argument for her motherhood, [he can] keep her afloat” amidst her depressive lows (75). He has always assumed the role of the protector and caretaker and has sacrificed his own needs to comfort his mom and support his dad. However, Ben’s condition makes him realize that he has to take care of himself first before he can “try to help anyone else” (286). His attempts to focus on his health, well-being, and happiness throughout his senior year and defines himself outside the context of his mom’s condition. He is gradually discovering who he is beyond his close relationships with his family.
Furthermore, Ben’s experiences on the football team, his relationship with Dallas, and his independent academic pursuits contribute to his personal growth. His diagnosis inspires him to be braver about his choices, opinions, and relationships. With the time that Ben has left, he pursues understanding in every arena. His posthumous graduation speech additionally addresses the ways that Ben’s condition develops his character throughout the novel. He learns to love like he “never loved,” to cry like he “never cried,” and to live “through days of terror and days of joy, days of utter satisfaction and days of shame” (313). Ultimately, Ben’s prognosis expands his understanding of himself and others. He grasps both the pain and the beauty of life, learns how to empathize with those around him, and pursues his dreams.
The Impact of Secrets and the Value of Transparency
Ben’s decision to keep his condition and prognosis hidden from his loved ones inspires the novel’s explorations of secrecy versus transparency. When Ben is first told about his condition, Ben decides to refuse treatment and conceal the truth from his family and community. He has no interest in spending his final days sick in bed and doesn’t want anyone to pity or coddle him. He does “worry about how betrayed [his loved ones] might feel that [he] didn’t let them prepare” for his death (23); still, he fears that revealing the truth will hurt them even more. His dad relies on him at home; his mom lives with bipolar disorder, and he and his brother are best friends. If they learn that Ben is dying, Ben knows that they will feel bewildered, devastated, and angry (23). Therefore, Ben believes that keeping the truth a secret is his way of protecting his family and himself.
The closer Ben comes to his death, the more he understands the consequences of his secret. His relationships with Dallas, Rudy, and Cody particularly complicate the way he thinks about honesty, lying, and withholding. For example, when Ben and Dallas start to get attached to one another, Dallas opens up to Ben about her traumatic past. She believes that “living in secrecy [...] ruins everything” and creates divides between people (125). She tells Ben about her trauma because she believes that transparency allows intimacy, which she desires with Ben. Ben wants the same with Dallas but fears how revealing the truth about his condition will change their relationship. The same is true of his relationships with Rudy and Cody. Rudy also opens up to Ben about his dark personal history, which further challenges Ben to reconsider the impact of his secrecy. With Hey-Soos’s help, he begins to realize that he can’t say he loves Dallas, cares about Rudy, or is his “brother’s best friend while hiding something that big” (228). Indeed, Ben’s secret keeps him from being vulnerable with those he loves and asking for help.
Once Ben starts opening up to his loved ones, his newfound transparency liberates him. He continues to worry about his friends’, family’s, and community’s emotional well-being but finds that owning his truth gives him more power and peace of mind. Whereas his secret precluded true closeness with others, his new vulnerability creates pathways to redemptive forms of personal connection.
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