36 pages • 1 hour read
Brené BrownDare to Lead
Nonfiction | Book | Adult | Published in 2018A modern alternative to SparkNotes and CliffsNotes, SuperSummary offers high-quality Study Guides with detailed chapter summaries and analysis of major themes, characters, and more.
Introduction and Part 1, Chapters 1-2Chapter Summaries & Analyses
Part 1: “Rumbling with Vulnerability”
Introduction Summary: “Brave Leaders and Courage Cultures”
Brown shares that her main purpose in writing Dare to Lead is to encapsulate her two decades of life experience and professional research into “actionable” advice on how to become a great leader (3). Her ideas are based on data Brown has collected in interviews and from her several studies on leadership. Brown is a CEO herself and admits that being in a leadership position is “humbling” and challenging (4). Brown believes that real leaders are people who recognize and foster their employees’ potential, and she hopes that her work contributes to inspiring leaders who are kind and courageous.
Brown believes that one key element of positive leadership is creating a “culture of belonging” in a workspace (5). She notes that in her interviews with people in senior corporate positions, many interviewees discussed the need for courageous managers to help lead companies through challenging times. The interviewees gave different reasons why courage is helpful, and most described it has a personality trait rather than a concrete set of skills. They found it easier to describe negative workplace behaviors than specify which leadership actions they found courageous.
Brown finds these negative behaviors useful to understand, since it is important to identify what “gets in the way” of success (7). She identifies ten behaviors that interviewees reported as toxic to workplace harmony and efficiency including: avoiding uncomfortable conversations, ignoring problematic behavior, lack of empathy amongst colleagues and management, and assigning blame for mistakes rather than using them as a learning opportunity.
The author points out that rather than imagining fear and courage as different experiences, we should focus on how we can be courageous despite our fears and vulnerabilities. She uses the term “rumble” to describe meetings with others that allow for vulnerability and prioritize work over self-interest (10). Brown argues that courage can be enacted through four skills which comprise the four parts of the text: “Rumbling with Vulnerability, Living Into Our Values, Braving Trust, Learning to Rise” (10). This approach to workplace management is being tested in various organizations including Shell, The Gates Foundation, and the US military.
Brown argues that all leaders feel fear, and fear itself is not an obstacle to good leadership if you can respond to it in a constructive way. When leaders model courage and an open-minded approach to their work, this should influence their workplace culture. She also posits that leaders must feel “connected” to the people they are managing and maintain a high standard of behavior for themselves and others (12). Brown feels that strong leaders give their students, employees, and coworkers a chance to take off their emotional “armor” and express themselves authentically and vulnerably, which benefits their emotional health and the organization as a whole (13).
Part 1, Chapter 1 Summary: “The Moment And The Myths”
Brown acknowledges that “daring” people are guaranteed to fail at some point. She notes that the bravest people she knows have endured personal and professional failures and disappointments (19). She defines vulnerability as an emotion we experience when we feel exposed and cannot control the outcome of something important to us. Brown dismisses the myth that vulnerability is a sign of weakness and argues that to admit your vulnerability is a sign of emotional courage.
Instead of listening to feedback from people who are not being vulnerable and daring themselves, the author recommends obtaining feedback from people whose skills and bravery you respect. Brown emphasizes that it is crucial for us to engage with feedback but advises us to be selective about whose criticisms we take to heart. The author recommends identifying the people in your life who will give you honest, constructive criticism about your behavior and write their names on a small 1 inch by 1 inch piece of paper, creating a “square squad” for your future reference.
Brown explains her six myths about vulnerability, which include the idea that vulnerability is weak, that it is possible to avoid, and that people can succeed alone. She also refutes the notion that you can avoid feeling discomfort while vulnerable and explains that mutual trust and vulnerability are highly intertwined and usually built reciprocally over time. Trust building often occurs through small, everyday interactions rather than immense vulnerability or heroic actions.
Brown is a “grounded theory” researcher, meaning that she collects data and then decides how her research fits in with the existing theories in psychology (32). She aims to produce data that isn’t “skewed” or biased due to pressure to confirm existing theories (32). Building on this idea, she shares that psychologist John Gottman’s findings about trust echoed her own research, as he too found that partners established trust through daily connection.
The last myth that Brown addresses is the idea that “vulnerability is disclosure” (34). She feels that some people have misinterpreted or caricatured her work as suggesting that good leaders should overshare about their personal lives or state of mind. In reality, Brown clarifies that you can be a vulnerable leader without necessarily disclosing a lot of personal information, since real vulnerability is acknowledging uncomfortable feelings and facing them with a focus on how you can support your team. She warns against “fake” vulnerability in which a leader claims they are scared or uncertain in order to seek out pity or compliance from others (39). This behavior is manipulative and corrodes trust.
Additionally, vulnerability is only helpful when it is allowed with proper boundaries in place. For example, it may not be “productive or appropriate” to tell your employees and investors that you are personally anxious and overwhelmed at work (40). Instead, Brown says it is better to be vulnerable with a mentor to learn how to manage your reactions while still being honest but—professional—with your team. She argues that vulnerability is the “core of all emotions” and is inherent to feeling anything (42).
Part 1, Chapter 2 Summary: “The Call to Courage”
Brown explains that clear communication should be considered a form of kindness, even if it requires uncomfortable conversations. She shares a personal story about how Charles, the CFO of her organization, once clearly communicated that Brown was causing problems in the workplace by not setting realistic timelines for project completion. This prompts Brown to remember another incident in which her husband noted that her time estimation for event planning was way off, and she realized that her colleagues were right to bring up this weakness.
Brown uses these examples to demonstrate, “Clear is kind. Unclear is unkind” (47). Even when clarity feels impolite, it allows people to work through their issues constructively rather than repress negative feelings. She emphasizes that even when this clear communication is uncomfortable, it is crucial to stay in the conversation long enough for people to feel heard and to revisit the issue later on once everyone has had time to reflect on it.
Brown understood that in addition to her weak time management skills, she was also trying to overachieve to make herself feel more productive and ease her own fears about running a business. She explains that fear-based thinking usually prompts us to put on our “armor” and approach our work with a defensive attitude. When Brown met with her team again, they used their meeting ritual of “permission slips” to help express their hopes for the meeting (53). Brown shared her fearful feelings with her team and admitted that she needed help with time management. She reports that through their discussions her team was able to streamline their communication and create more realistic timelines for their work. By discussing these matters with her team, Brown also learned that she had been pigeonholing her staff into certain roles, such as “optimists” or “realists” (56). She warns against this form of “binary thinking” which she feels can limit people’s potential to contribute (56). The author apologized to her team, since she thinks that acknowledging wrongdoing is part of being a courageous leader.
Brown then relays a story she heard from an air force leader who initiated vulnerable conversations about exhaustion, loneliness, and mental health with their team. She emphasizes how these conversations can not only lead to better health outcomes for staff but also improve productivity and performance within the organization. This means that tough conversations are not timewasters; in fact, they help teams become efficient and productive. The author clarifies that while “rumbles” or deep talks may elicit strong feelings, there must be clear rules in place about what is allowed during such meetings. For example, Brown feels that yelling, interrupting others, eye-rolling, or put-downs should not be permitted during “rumbles” (68).
Brown concludes the chapter by sharing that “time-outs” can be useful for meeting participants who want to take a break from an intense discussion or take some time to reflect on what has been discussed.
Introduction and Part 1, Chapters 1-2 Analysis
In her introduction Brown announces the goal of her book while providing the reader with a brief overview of her professional accomplishments and philosophy. Brown uses workaday, occasionally folksy language to connect with readers outside her academic disciplines. For example, she describes cynicism and knee-jerk reactions as the “cheap seats” (20) while unkind behavior is “chickenshit” (21). Brown also uses analogies to demonstrate her ideas; she compares leaders to warriors going into battle in an arena, and their “armor” they use to try to protect themselves is their defensive habits, egotistical behavior, and fear of vulnerability (11). She defines armor as “the thoughts, emotions and behaviors that we use to protect ourselves when we aren’t willing and able to rumble with vulnerability” (11). She writes that while we all tend to develop armor to protect ourselves, it is often an obstacle to us developing as leaders who need to “rumble” in the arena to forge positive relationships and communicate well with others.
In these chapters Brown also uses personal stories to illustrate her points about communication and leadership. For example, she describes how her daughter Ellen helped her understand how people build trust and friendships with each other over everyday interactions, confirming professional research about trust building. She also recounts helping a CEO learn about appropriate vulnerability and professional boundaries. These personal stories help engage the reader and make Brown’s ideas feel less abstract and more concrete. Because of her personal examples, the reader is able to envision her recommendations about vulnerability and communication being implemented in their family or workplace.
To that end, chapters 1 and 2 also contain several concrete tools that managers can utilize in their workplaces. The first is what Brown calls a “rumble” or a meeting in which people are expected to communicate clearly, honestly, and vulnerably about their own experiences and expectations. Brown also recommends using “permission slips” at the beginning of every meeting, which participants share out loud with others. Rather than asking for permission from others, the point of these slips is to empower people to give themselves permission to do something that may be challenging for them, such as asking tough questions, keeping an open mind about solutions, or requesting time to think before forming an answer.
Another concrete tool Brown describes is the “Turn and Learn,” which she feels is a simple way to get team members on the same page about project completion and prioritization. During the “Turn and Learn” meeting, participants write down how long they think projects will take to complete and rank them in order of priority. Then they turn over their papers and reveal their thoughts with the rest of the team for discussion.
Another tool Brown recommends is taking “time-outs” when needed. Rather than viewing breaks as inefficient, Brown feels that participants should be allowed to ask for time to cool down or consider others’ ideas since she believes this will help foster more productive conversations and decision making. Brown also advises the reader to consider whose opinions they value the most and write them out on a square piece of paper called their “Square Squad.”
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