Candide

Exiled from the castle, a penniless Candide wanders for a long time lamenting the loss of Cunégonde and falls asleep in a field. The next morning, he goes to the town of “Valdberghoff-trarbk-dikdorff” (5) in search of food and shelter, and he is invited to dine with two men who are curious about his height and build. They buy his dinner and give him some money, and Candide thinks “everything is indeed for the best” (6). The men ask if he loves the King of the Bulgars, and when they all drink to the king’s health, Candide is informed he is now in the service of the king and is put in irons. The men take him to train with a regiment; Candide endures a brutal training period as a soldier and is whipped daily.

One day he goes for a long walk, thinking it his right as a free man, but is caught by four other “heroes” (6) and court-martialed. He can choose his punishment—either run the gauntlet 36 times or receive “twelve lead bullets in his skull simultaneously” (7). He chooses to run the gauntlet but endures only two runs before begging to be shot. As he is blindfolded, the King of the Bulgars passes by, understands that Candide is “a young metaphysician entirely unschooled in the ways of the world” (7), and pardons him. Candide is healed by a physician, and the King of the Bulgars declares war on the King of the Abars. 

The two well-trained armies go to war, and about 30,000 men are killed. Candide hides while the “heroic butchery” (8) plays out, and he decides to “think about effects and causes elsewhere” (8), deserting his army. In a neighboring Abar village, he finds only carnage: old men slaughtered, women with throats cut, girls raped and disemboweled. Candide flees to a Bulgar village and finds the same carnage and a village in ruins. Thinking of Mademoiselle Cunégonde, he flees to Holland where he is sure he will be taken care of in a wealthy Christian country. Upon arriving, he begs alms but is admonished by the people there, who threaten to put him in prison. Candide approaches a man who was speaking to a crowd about charity, who asks him, “Are you here for a good cause?” (8), which Candide misunderstands and replies, “There is no effect without cause” and “everything is linked in a chain of necessity” (8), tracing his journey from Mademoiselle Cunégonde to Holland as necessary in the best of all worlds. The man asks if Candide believes the Pope is the Anti-Christ, and when Candide says he does not know but still needs food, they chase him off and the man’s wife dumps a chamber pot on him from above.

A passerby named Jacques, “a good Anabaptist” (9), sees how Candide was treated and takes him home to clean and feed him, giving him two florins. Candide is so grateful he sees this as a confirmation of Dr. Pangloss’ philosophy. The next day, Candide encounters a sick beggar on the street in terrible condition. 

Candide offers the beggar two florins and is shocked to discover it is Dr. Pangloss. Candide takes him back to the Anabaptist’s stable to feed his old teacher. Pangloss reveals that Cunégonde is dead, and Candide faints; upon reviving, Candide asks if she died of heartbreak when he was exiled from the castle. Pangloss tells him no, that Cunégonde and her brother were raped and disemboweled by Bulgar soldiers, while the Baron and Baroness were both “chopped to bits” (10), and the castle destroyed. Candide asks why Pangloss is in such a pitiable state, and he replies “love is its name” (11), recounting that Paquette gave him syphilis, which she caught from a Franciscan, who caught it from an old countess, who caught it from a page-boy, who caught it from a Jesuit, who “inherited it in a direct line from one of the shipmates of Christopher Columbus” (11). This “strange genealogy” (11) is necessary to the best of all possible worlds, Pangloss reasons, for it is the price of other products from the Caribbean, like chocolate and cochineal. Candide begs Jacques the Anabaptist to fund Pangloss’ medical care, who agrees to it. Pangloss loses an eye and an ear in the process and becomes Jacques’ bookkeeper.

They join Jacques on a business trip to Lisbon; on the boat, Pangloss explains to Jacques that “all things are arranged for the best” (12). Jacques disagrees, saying men have created weapons on their own to destroy one another, and bankruptcy courts cheat both the bankrupt and the creditor. Pangloss insists this individual suffering is for the greater good, while a storm gathers over the boat with Lisbon in sight.

Half of the ship is seasick while the other half is panicking in the storm. As Jacques is helping with the rigging, a “crazed sailor” (13) strikes him but is thrown overboard and caught on a dangling mast. Jacques helps the sailor back on board but is thrown overboard, and the sailor leaves Jacques to drown. Candide goes to help Jacques but is stopped by Pangloss, who insists “that Lisbon harbor was built expressly so that this Anabaptist should one day drown in it” (13). As he is talking, the ship splits, and only Candide, Pangloss, and the “brute of a sailor who had drowned their virtuous Anabaptist” (13) survive the shipwreck.

Pangloss and Candide arrive in Lisbon just in time to experience an earthquake, which destroys the city and 30,000 of its inhabitants. The sailor sees the opportunity to loot the city, get drunk, and pay for a prostitute, all among the dead and dying. Pangloss rebukes the man, who rebuffs him. Candide, suffering from injuries in the earthquake, calls for help, while Pangloss argues with him about philosophy, finally relenting to bring him water when Candide faints. The next day, they help survivors, whom Pangloss comforts with his belief that all is for the best. An agent of the Inquisition overhears his reasoning and asks if Pangloss believes in Original Sin, who insists on the possible coexistence of both free will and predetermination, so the Inquisitor has him arrested.