Breathing Underwater

Nick runs into Caitlin on purpose in the hallway. She accuses him of calling her and hanging up, but he denies it. He claims counseling is helping him change, but when she walks away, he tells her he never loved her. She thanks him for reminding her why they cannot be together. He notices she dropped her pen, and he keeps it. Later that night, he uses her pen to write in his journal. He is already past the required word count, but he wants to keep remembering her. He reminds the judge not to read the entry.

Nick continues writing about the day after he missed school. Caitlin came to see him and forced her way into his room despite Nick’s protests. He told her his beaten face was from football practice, but she knew he was lying and correctly guessed his father was to blame. He assured her he could handle the situation even when she suggested he confide in a teacher. She embraced him, and when he told her he loved her for the first time, she said she loved him, too.

On Valentine’s Day, Nick is at his family violence class where Mario informs the members that another member, Xavier, has returned to jail for violating his probation. Mario explains that they will be discussing family because violence is a generational cycle. When he asks Nick about his family, Nick lies and says his father is his hero. We learn that his father is an investment banker who immigrated to the United States from Greece at 16. When Mario asks how his father shows his love, Nick remembers the one time he took him to a football game when he was younger.

When Kelly talks about his family, Nick wonders if other fathers are as violent as his own. An older member, Ray, who is also a police officer, complains that kids today are too sensitive and need physical discipline. Ray reveals that his family immigrated from Cuba and his father beat him for acting out. When Leo finally shares, he reveals his stepfather, Hector, was abusive only to his mother and twin brother, Felix. Eventually, Hector turned Leo and Felix against each other using violence, and Felix killed himself. Leo’s story deeply affects Nick. After class, Leo tells Mario this will be his last class because his girlfriend has taken him back. Mario tells him he should stay, but Leo walks away.

In his journal, Nick writes about the first time he and Tom met Caitlin’s mother. She was vain, heavily made-up, and openly flirting with Tom. As they left, Nick noticed Caitlin was wearing a cheap necklace. Embarrassed, he bullied her into taking it off despite Tom’s concern with this behavior. Nick then threw it out the window of his car.

Today is Caitlin’s birthday, so Nick leaves flowers in her locker. In his journal, he remembers how he won her back after the necklace incident. Caitlin had wanted to go home, but Nick took her to his house instead and begged her to stay. They sat behind his house on the beach watching the ocean until dolphins appeared. He told her a story of a man named Desmond Rogers, who built the house for his wife in 1925 because she was sick. Caitlin knew Nick was making up this story, so she angrily tried to leave, but Nick convinced her to stay. Nick had watched the dolphins all his life and wanted to share this moment with her to earn her forgiveness. She let him finish the story, which ended tragically when Desmond’s wife died in a storm. After she died, a dolphin appeared behind the house; when Desmond died, another dolphin appeared, and both had been there ever since.

After the story, Caitlin forgave Nick and kissed him. She confessed she was ashamed of her mother for being vain and making her feel insecure. She also told him about how her father left and started another family. Nick told her to forget them and jumped in the water. He convinced Caitlin to join him, and they sunk beneath the surface together. They spent the rest of the night together on the beach until he took her home late.

On Saturday, Nick sees Caitlin with Saint at the gas station and realizes they are now a couple. He declares that he hates Saint. Using Caitlin’s pen, Nick writes in his journal about a football practice last year. During a scrimmage, Saint chose to throw away the ball instead of passing it to Nick. At first, Nick was relieved because he was not confident he could catch it, but when he realized Saint thought of him as a weak receiver, Nick became angry. He cooled off in the locker room shower and considered whether Caitlin would be impressed with his body size. He had been trying to have sex with her and was hoping he could talk her into it during their Thanksgiving trip to Key West.

In the locker room, Tom tried to talk to Nick about his behavior with Caitlin. Tom said he and their other friends were concerned that Nick was spending too much time with her and was too controlling. He suggested Nick treat her better as they walked to the chorus room, where Nick had agreed to meet Caitlin. Nick looked for her, and when he could not see her, he became worried. Frustrated that Nick refused to listen, Tom left.

That afternoon, Nick is following Caitlin and Elsa around the outdoor mall. They alert a police officer, who confronts Nick. He lies and says he is meeting someone. Nick sees Leo with his girlfriend, Neysa, in the crowd, and Leo pretends he is the person Nick is meeting. The cop continues questioning them until Leo mentions Ray’s name, although they do not reveal that they know Ray from family violence class. Believing them to be friends of fellow cop Ray, the cop leaves them alone. Leo tells Nick that he stopped going to the class because he no longer needs it since Neysa has forgiven him. Leo introduces them and promises to help Nick win over Caitlin again.

Returning to the journal entry, Nick writes that he grew more and more angry as he waited for Caitlin by the choir room. When he entered the room, he saw her singing with Derek Wayne, a boy from her choir group. Nick noticed how close they stood and how they spoke, and he instantly decided Caitlin must have been sleeping with him. After a hostile exchange with Derek, Nick dragged Caitlin out of the room and to the parking lot. He felt cheated and lashed out at Caitlin, who repeatedly denied being involved with Derek. He raised his arm, almost hitting her, but instead got in his car to drive away alone. When he looked back at Caitlin crying in the lot, he felt shame and regret for being like his father. Caitlin apologized and begged for his forgiveness. After he let her back into the car, he apologized as well, vowing to be a better boyfriend.