Breakfast With Buddha

Otto grapples with settling his parents’ estate, a task made more complex by his unpredictable sister, Cecelia (“Seese”), and his sentimental attachment to certain family heirlooms at their North Dakota farmstead. This challenge, which Otto dubs the “North Dakota Question” (7), regularly surfaces in his ritualistic, wine-accompanied discussions with his wife, Jeannie. In one such conversation, she confronts Otto about his procrastination: “You’re procrastinating on this” (7), she observes, pinpointing his tendency to avoid confronting his past in North Dakota.

As they navigate this discussion amid the warmth of their shared laughter and sips of wine, Jeannie firmly suggests that Otto drive to North Dakota, involve Cecelia despite her quirks, and face his childhood home. Otto, resistant and seeking alternatives, floats the idea of turning the task into a family road trip. Jeannie humorously dismisses this idea, hinting at the impracticality with a simple, “Not…likely” (10). This candid exchange lays bare Otto’s internal conflict about returning to his roots and the practical challenges of settling his parents’ estate from a distance.

Otto approaches his children, Natasha and Anthony, with the idea of turning his necessary trip to settle his parents’ estate into a family road trip. Despite his efforts to make this proposal appealing, both children are unenthusiastic. Natasha dismisses the idea of camping with her brother, whom she refers to as “the disgusting beast” (12), prompting Otto to adjust the plan. However, she remains unconvinced, advising her father to be sensible. Anthony, absorbed in the throes of adolescence, shows little interest in the trip or spending extended time in close quarters with the family, more focused on his own interests, like football.

Disheartened by his children’s responses, Otto reflects on family life, the inevitable drift as children grow into their own lives, and the fleeting nature of the close family unit. He shares his musings with Jeannie, his wife, on their patio, a place where Otto often ponders life’s complexities. Jeannie, understanding and pragmatic, acknowledges Otto’s idealism but also the reality of life’s changes, especially in the wake of his parents’ death. The conversation reveals Otto’s deeper unease about the impermanence of family closeness and the fast pace of modern life, questioning whether merely going along with societal norms is the best they can do. Jeannie offers comfort, suggesting that while they can’t control everything, what they have is “more than pretty good” (16), and proposes an intimate night together to connect amid the uncertainties.

After an intimate night with Jeannie, Otto finds himself in a state of serene clarity, contemplating the complexities of his life and his upcoming journey to North Dakota. Postcoital calm brings him a sense of peace and a fleeting escape from the burdens of his responsibilities, allowing him to view his sister and the impending trip in a more positive light. He acknowledges that while the journey might not be enjoyable, it could offer a new perspective, a break from routine.

Otto muses on the nation’s obsession with sex, interpreting it as a manifestation of a deeper spiritual longing, a quest for tranquility amid the chaos of modern life. He reflects on his life strategy, a blend of pleasures and obligations that, until his parents’ death, had seemed sufficient. However, he now senses its inadequacy, feeling a hole in the fabric of his existence. He’s drawn to the idea that something transformative awaits him, something beyond the tapestry of his daily life. Despite this realization, Otto spends the spring and early summer in denial, hoping the trip to North Dakota would be a mere blip in his life’s predictable rhythm: “I was somehow able to pretend to myself that it would be a quick, easy, painless errand, just a tiny glitch in the predictable pattern that was my life” (20).

Otto embarks on his solo journey to North Dakota, reflecting on the stark contrast between his departure from the familiar, domestic life in New York and the uncertain adventure ahead. His quiet leave-taking from his family is marked by solitude, as his children and wife are occupied with their activities:

So thoroughly had the domestic life enveloped me over the past, what, twenty years, that I felt, once I’d at last closed the back door behind me and was striding toward the driveway, that I was peeling away several layers of skin and setting off into America’s dusty center in my bare raw flesh (22).

Upon arriving at Cecelia’s home in Paterson, New Jersey, Otto is apprehensive, aware of Cecelia’s unconventional lifestyle, notably her profession as a tarot and palm reader, which contrasts with his grounded demeanor. Cecelia’s history of eclectic and often unsuitable partners is a recurring concern for Otto, who has always hoped she’d find a stable, long-term companion. Otto’s anticipation turns to shock when he meets Cecelia’s latest companion, Volya Rinpoche, a robust man in a maroon robe, who presents an enigmatic and imposing figure. The surprise deepens when Cecelia cheerfully announces that Rinpoche will join them on their trip to North Dakota, leaving Otto momentarily speechless and feigning deafness to the unexpected news.

In a strategic attempt to delay confronting the unexpected turn of events, Otto decides to spend some time at Cecelia’s place, hoping that her idea to have Volya Rinpoche, a monk, join them on their trip to North Dakota might dissipate like her previous whims. He indulges her by admiring her impressive gardening, a skill she has mastered since childhood. However, Cecelia drops a bombshell, disrupting the calm of the garden: She won’t be joining Otto on the trip and plans to gift her portion of the family estate to Rinpoche for a retreat center.

This revelation sets Otto on edge; he fears that Cecelia might be the victim of a cunning scam, especially given the substantial value of the land. Despite his objections and the shocking realization of their inheritance’s worth, Cecelia is unwavering in her decision: She deeply believes in Rinpoche’s vision and mission. Otto’s attempts to negotiate or understand Cecelia’s decision lead to an intense, emotionally charged conversation, revealing deep-seated differences in their worldviews and priorities. The discussion culminates in Cecelia’s heartfelt plea for Otto to understand her perspective and to consider the spiritual journey Rinpoche could offer. This proposition leaves Otto bewildered and reluctantly compliant.

On their way out of Paterson, Otto and Rinpoche become momentarily lost amid the city’s less glamorous streets, which exacerbates Otto’s frustration stemming from his sister’s manipulative behavior. Despite feeling out of place in the rough neighborhoods, Otto has a friendly encounter with a diligent sweeper that lightens his spirits momentarily. Once on the interstate, he mentally outlines his straightforward plan: Drive efficiently to North Dakota, complete the necessary tasks, and enjoy a leisurely return trip alone, free from the complexities of Rinpoche’s presence.

Attempting to keep the journey amiable, Otto engages Rinpoche in conversation, asking about his life. The response, however, is perplexing and not quite what Otto expected: Rinpoche describes his life as a “most very boring, boring life” (43), punctuating his answer with a raspy chuckle that Otto finds disconcerting. His efforts to learn more about Rinpoche’s work are met with vague, seemingly dismissive responses, leaving Otto uncertain whether he likes or dislikes his mysterious companion.

As their journey continues, Otto dismisses Rinpoche’s suggestion to “get off the fast road” (44), interpreting it as an unwelcome spiritual metaphor. However, a literal understanding emerges when they encounter a traffic jam. This unexpected halt reminds Otto of the unpredictability of life and the journey ahead. Rinpoche’s presence adds a layer of complexity and intrigue to what Otto considered a straightforward mission.

Sitting in a traffic jam, Otto’s frustration escalates, triggering a reflection on his tendency toward brief outbursts of anger, a trait he acknowledges as inherited from his father. The stationary vehicles and the sight of emergency responders intensify the atmosphere, prompting Otto’s self-examination. He contemplates the nature of inherited traits and the struggle to confront and control them: “All you can do, I suppose, is decide which of your demons are harmless and which are really trouble, and then find the courage to wrestle with the latter group” (50). This introspection reveals his awareness of the darker aspects of his personality and the desire to prevent these traits from affecting the next generation.

To vent his frustration, Otto steps out of the car, performing a “little drum-dance of what his son, Anthony, used to call ‘flustration’” (51). Despite his efforts to contain his anger, Rinpoche’s calm presence in the car seems to prolong Otto’s outburst. Only when the traffic starts moving and Otto witnesses the aftermath of the accident is his irritation replaced by a realization of life’s fragility and his inner emptiness. During this moment of vulnerability, Rinpoche cryptically observes, “You don’t need to go away from the fast road now, anymore” (51), suggesting a deeper understanding of Otto’s turmoil and perhaps a milestone in their journey.

In the aftermath of his roadside tantrum, Otto feels a sense of relief: Revealing his true self to Rinpoche absolves him of the need to maintain a facade of perfection. They inadvertently venture onto Pennsylvania 611 South instead of North, leading them through picturesque landscapes and quaint towns and prompting Otto to reflect on the randomness of life and fate. The scenic journey and a stop at Ahearn’s Country Café offer Otto a brief respite and an opportunity to ponder his family’s legacy and the intrinsic nature of personal traits.

At a gas station, Otto and Rinpoche encounter an elderly man, who insists that they visit Lititz, a town known for its exceptional food and a special inn. Initially reluctant, Otto is swayed by Rinpoche’s interest and the persuasive elderly man, who hands them a discount coupon, convincing them to alter their route. As they travel through the tranquil countryside, Otto opens up to Rinpoche about his skepticism toward spiritual guidance and his commitment to his Protestant faith, expressing frustration at being preached to or advised about his life’s path.

Rinpoche’s calm demeanor and cryptic remarks leave Otto conflicted, feeling both irritated and introspective. A series of road signs with religious and motivational messages further provoke Otto’s thoughts about faith, guidance, and individuality. Despite his inner turmoil, the promise of a good meal at the inn in Lititz is a comforting prospect, momentarily quelling Otto’s restlessness. However, a sudden recollection of a recurring dream about escaping imminent danger leads Otto to contemplate the deeper meaning and the potential significance of Rinpoche’s presence on this unexpected detour of their journey.