36 pages • 1 hour read
Brené BrownBraving the Wilderness: The Quest for True Belonging and the Courage to Stand Alone
Nonfiction | Book | Adult | Published in 2017A modern alternative to SparkNotes and CliffsNotes, SuperSummary offers high-quality Study Guides with detailed chapter summaries and analysis of major themes, characters, and more.
Index of Terms
BRAVING
BRAVING is a set of strategies Brown recommends individuals use in concordance with a true belonging practice. These strategies include: 1) respecting Boundaries, 2) Reliably maintaining commitments, 3) being Accountable for mistakes, 4) maintaining a Vault of privacy and confidentiality, 5) acting with Integrity, 6) responding and acting Nonjudgmentally, and 7) extending Generosity of intentions.
When individuals find themselves either standing alone “in a hypercritical environment” or standing together “in the midst of difference,” these seven strategies will help them to develop the trust required to “brave the wilderness and become the wilderness” (37). The BRAVING strategies support each of the four elements of true belonging because the courage to act requires trust—trust that acts are committed and received in good faith, trust in the integrity of self and others, and trust that presenting “authentic, imperfect selves” is a thing of universal value (32).
Inextricable Human Connection
Humans share a need for belonging and are biologically oriented towards a collective need to “plan, communicate, and work together” (53). On the other hand, inextricable human connection is a belief that while humanity is a multiplicity of difference—different experiences, orientations, preferences, and beliefs—underlying that difference, we remain deeply connected. It is a belief that there is a greater power than the self at work and that “our connection to that power and to one another is grounded in love and compassion” (45).
When individuals believe in this baseline truth, they are halfway to accepting the risk involved in enacting true belonging—to believing that one’s connection to others is inviolate. When this connection is acknowledged, the risk in standing alone is minimized because any sense of separation that arises cannot violate the deeper connection we all share with each other. When we believe in inextricable human connection, we are less willing to settle for fitting in, since fitting in is not a true reflection of our human condition.
True Belonging
True belonging is the struggle and practice to be part of something greater than oneself, but not at the cost to “authenticity, freedom, or power” (33). It requires exposure to divergent perspectives, the capacity to express honest beliefs with civility, the willingness to express deep joy and pain in communion with strangers, and the courage to trust in the practice of true belonging while remaining open and vulnerable with others.
Although these elements of practice appear paradoxical and at times impossible, Brown recommends utilizing BRAVING strategies to build trust in self and others. When we feel true belonging, we recognize there is no greater reward then belonging to oneself. With a wild heart, one finds freedom, joy, community, and an intimate knowledge of the self.
Wild Heart
The final element of true belonging practice requires a willingness to stay courageous and strong, to have trust in the process of practice, and to remain open to vulnerability. When we practice BRAVING, our resolve is strengthened by trust, and we have strategies that help maintain our equilibrium and safety in uncharted waters. When we remain open, we allow ourselves to feel the wonder of the wild—the “love, joy, trust, intimacy, courage—everything that brings meaning to our life” (153).
As Brown notes, the difficulty for some lies in building up a strong back, while for others it lies in dropping the instinct to armor themselves up. On the latter point, Brown acknowledges that for many, vulnerability represents “uncertainty, risk, and emotional exposure”; however, she argues that “vulnerability is not weakness; it’s our most accurate measure of courage” (154). Here, Brown acknowledges the challenges many will face when attempting a true belonging practice. At the same time, when individuals take on the stance of “strong back, soft front,” they open themselves to the reward of a wild heart—the ability to hold the dualities of courage/vulnerability, anticipation/fear, and strength/compassion. When we live with a wild heart, Brown says, paradoxes collapse, and tensions coalesce into a greater sense of wholeness. Practitioners can feel joy/fight, love/work, and express gratitude/pain at the same time.
Related Titles
By Brené Brown
