Big Blonde

On the surface, “Big Blonde” is the story of an aging buxom blond woman who lives a freewheeling lifestyle in New York City during the 1920s. Although in many ways the story parallels its author’s life, the protagonist (Hazel Morse) is a watered-down version of Parker. Hazel lacks the deep intellectual prowess, sharp wit, and intense self-awareness of her creator. However, the span of Hazel’s existence covered in “Big Blonde” astutely reflects life for a certain type of woman who struggled to survive during this period. It’s a sad, shallow existence marked by societal limitations, personal disappointments, sadness, and a slow, dark slide into alcohol addiction.

Societal limitations are the first barrier Hazel faces. As the story begins, she’s a 20-something dress model who lives a seemingly glamorous life in the city. She’s independent, attractive, and popular with the men in her circle. However, the physical attributes that served her well in her younger years—her buxom figure and blond hair—are fading fast, highlighting one of the story’s central themes: The Role of Beauty. In addition, the bubbly personality that made her popular with the boys is becoming increasingly harder to pull off. Although she isn’t given to self-reflection, Hazel is savvy regarding survival skills. Nearing age 30, Hazel knows she’s fast approaching her expiration date as a “good sport.” When she meets flashy, fun-loving Herbie Morse, she’s easily swept away. Their marriage after just six weeks of courtship is thus no surprise.

Now safely married and off the market, she pours herself into building a life with Herbie—and indeed, the first few months of domesticity are blissful. However, the honeymoon glow soon wears off, and Herbie begins to bristle at what he views as unpredictable bouts of melancholy that frequently overtake his new wife. Gone is the “good sport” who laughed at his zany, inebriated antics in New York’s speakeasies. In her place is a woman whose maudlin moods can be set off by just about any sad story. Herbie, who shares his wife’s lack of introspectiveness, doesn’t delve too deeply into the disappointment of their life together; his reaction is to spend more and more time in bars.

As Herbie becomes more distant, Hazel makes sincere but futile attempts to revive their relationship. She fails to realize that Herbie didn’t marry her for who she is as a person; he married a “good sport,” and now that she has shed that persona, they’re essentially strangers. Hazel’s final, frenzied attempts to hold on to her husband reveal her desperation. She alters her old clothes to accommodate her increasingly plump body, applies makeup, and joins him on his nights out, reflecting another of the story’s main themes: The Changing Role of Women. During this period, women gained considerable social independence (in addition to winning the right to vote and taking over jobs for men called away to serve in World War I). However, Hazel is no longer amused at Herbie’s drinking, and he grows enraged at her nonstop, critical “crabbing.”

Herbie’s behavior conveys a clear message that drinking is the antidote to discomfort. Hazel, despite her initial aversion to alcohol, internally absorbs this message and gradually turns to alcohol herself. Herbie approves of this and even eggs her on: “Let’s see you get boiled, baby” (8). Alcohol does seem to help—for a while. However, the boozy nights out lead to bitter arguments and even physical violence, followed by unrealistic reconciliations. When Herbie eventually leaves her to take a job in Detroit, Hazel greets the news with little fanfare. He announces his departure suddenly and takes off just as abruptly. Hazel, who by now spends most of her time inebriated, has little reaction. She moves on seamlessly—in fact, the very same day—to solidify her relationship with a new, aspiring admirer. The admirer, Ed, is the first in a series of suitors who become part of Hazel’s new single life (though she doesn’t divorce Herbie and continues to use his surname).

The fact that Ed is married matters little to Hazel, who’s now in survival mode. Once she married Herbie, she became financially dependent on him. Now she needs to fend for herself, and she does so through the courtesy of “donors.” Soon, she and Ed get an apartment together. After her disappointment with the domestic life of her early married days, Hazel no longer has the urge to create a cozy home. She no longer craves domesticity and announces that she’s through with “housekeeping stuff” (15). Ed then hires a maid to take care of household tasks, thus freeing Hazel to focus on her new “job,” which is to be a fun companion for him. She manages to do this, for the most part. However, once again, she needs to tamp down her gloomy moods and maintain an outward appearance of good cheer. For this, she increasingly relies on alcohol.

Despite Prohibition, alcohol seems plentiful for those who know where to get it—and apparently, Ed does. He introduces Hazel to his favorite speakeasy, a place called Jimmy’s. When Ed is away, Hazel often visits Jimmy’s by herself. She’s popular with both men and women, and the men often take her out when Ed is home in Utica with his wife. Far from being annoyed by this, Ed seems proud that Hazel is so well-liked. As for her women friends, they’re all similar in appearance: “They were all big women and stout, broad of shoulder and abundantly breasted [...]. They may have been thirty-six or forty-five or anywhere between” (16). All these women operate as free agents; no husbands are on the scene. Hazel easily fits right in—and continues to be a regular at Jimmy’s long after Ed is out of the picture. Hazel, like all the women who frequent Jimmy’s, share a similar pursuit:

The aim of each was to have one man, permanently, to pay all her bills, in return for which she would have immediately given up other admirers and probably would have become exceedingly fond of him; for the affections of all of them were, by now, unexacting, tranquil and easily arranged (17).

Thus, Hazel grows accustomed to her life being a series of superficial, loveless relationships that pay the bills and keep her supplied with alcohol. In return, she must remain upbeat; the reminder to “cheer up” is often repeated, always in annoyance, sometimes as a threat. No one seems to mind if being a “good sport” requires excessive alcohol consumption. However, when alcohol stops working and Hazel has nothing to hold on to, she begins to fixate on the ultimate escape: Death becomes her solace, her fantasy, her single hope for release from her sad and weary life. “It would be nice,” she thinks, “nice and restful, to be dead” (20).

Today, it’s easy to hypothesize from Hazel’s mercurial moods that what drives her to the brink of death by suicide is a mental-health condition; her depression precedes her alcohol addiction and remains untreated. Her attempts to self-medicate with alcohol are another possible factor, and they certainly don’t help. Alcohol is a depressant, and though it may offer temporary relief, its cumulative effect is to bring one down, emphasizing the story’s third central theme: Alcohol Addiction and Depression. Another contributing factor to Hazel’s sadness is her isolation; she has no family, and despite the string of relationships, no truly intimate connections. Even the few women “friends” she has are nothing more than acquaintances. However, in the world Hazel inhabits, feelings are something to be suppressed, as she has learned time and time again. It’s possible to see how death by suicide would seem like a solution to her; she seeks out stories on the topic and devours them. Reading them “rouse[s] reassurance in her; she [feels] a cozy solidarity with the big company of the voluntary dead” (20). When her attempt to join their ranks fails, she faces a bleak and dreary future. As the story ends, she silently hopes that whiskey will be “her friend” again. She prays to an unknown god to “please keep her always drunk” and toasts her maid with the familiar words “Here’s mud in your eye” (33).