Becoming Mrs. Lewis: The Improbable Love Story of Joy Davidman and C. S. Lewis

Chapter 32 begins with an epigraph from Davidman’s “Sonnet XXXVII,” where the female speaker desires to switch gender identities with her male addressee.

Renting a space near her friend Phyl in London, Joy helps her sons get used to their move. Dealing with her own doubt, she shows her sons London, including Westminster. At Trafalgar Square, Davy connects the carved lion on Admiral Nelson’s monument to Lewis’s Aslan from The Chronicles of Narnia.

As Joy explains to her landlord that she can’t pay the rent for her rooms much longer, the landlord, Mrs. Bagley, offers more suitable accommodations for less money. In a letter to Bill, Joy demands he send them money and stop hurting his children financially to wound her. Davy hears her discussing their lack of money.

Beginning with an epigraph from Davidman’s “Sonnet VIII” describing the speaker’s disobedience, Chapter 33 opens with Joy recounting her first trip to see Jack. Taking him a Christmas present, Joy and her boys travel to Paddington Station on their way to Oxford. They arrive in Oxford and head toward the Kilns.

Chapter 34 opens with an epigraph from Davidman’s “Sonnet XX,” describing a lover who doesn’t love the speaker in return.

Joy, Davy, and Douglas enter the Kilns and greet Jack, but Davy can’t believe that Jack and C. S. Lewis are the same. Jack invites the boys and Joy to go to Magdalen College, and Warnie joins them. Jack and Joy discuss her work, as she confesses that money grows tight for her. Jack offers to pay for their education out of the Agape fund, a charity he helps maintain to pay for children’s education.

The chapter opens with an epigraph from Davidman’s “Sonnet XX,” detailing the speaker’s rejection for a blonde.

Davy and Douglas dress to go outside in the cold following breakfast, imagining how the wintry landscape outside the Kilns reflects Narnia. At night, Warnie and Davy play chess, as Warnie fulfills his promise to Davy to teach him.

After four days together, Joy gives Jack an antique sword, and he accidentally cuts himself while touching it. Joy’s reflex is to kiss his hand, but he pulls away. Later, Jack and Joy discuss their mutual affection. Responding to Joy’s question about love, he jokes about not having met a blonde woman to love. Realizing he’s hurt Joy, who isn’t blonde, he admits great admiration for their friendship.

Jack gives Davy and Douglas a manuscript of his newest installment in The Chronicles of Narnia—The Horse and His Boy, which Jack dedicates to Joy’s sons.

Chapter 36 opens with an epigraph from Davidman’s “Sonnet XXI,” linking a female presence to horror.

Joy attempts to make money with her writing, but she has no success. She changes Smoke on the Mountain, her book on the Ten Commandments, for an English audience. With Jack’s preface, she hopes it will sell.

She accepts Jack’s help to pay for the boys’ schooling. As she and Jack develop their friendship, Joy sleeps with a man she meets at her meeting with sci-fi writers. As she works on her writing, Joy types Jack’s autobiography, Surprised by Joy.

Joy and the boys visit the Kilns again, and Warnie and Joy discuss Jack and the memories of his first happiness, which happened in the garden. Joy asks Jack if she is reflected in his autobiography—as she suspects—and he acknowledges her importance to him. Jack, long unhappy at Oxford, tells Joy that Cambridge has a position for him teaching medieval and renaissance literature, one created for him. Joy suggests he take it.

Chapter 37 opens with an epigraph from Davidman’s “Sonnet XXXVI,” which compares the addressee’s innocence to glaciers.

London experiences heavier than normal rains in the summer of 1954, as Joy’s divorce decree arrives in the mail. As Joy and Jack talk in her kitchen, she asks him where she fits in his life. Joy hands Jack her divorce decree to read, horrified at the cruel claims he makes against her, alleging that Joy desired a literary career more than she cared for her family.

As Jack and Joy consider Bill’s abuse and then celebrate her freedom, Joy excuses herself from their normal walk, explaining that symptoms of her rheumatism make walking difficult.

Chapter 38 opens with an epigraph from Davidman’s “Sonnet XXXIX,” advising the addressee not to be mad that the speaker, a woman, wants a kiss.

Jack confesses that Warnie has drank too much and has gone to rehab as a result. He and Joy discuss the finality of her divorce and talk about sin and temperance, which Joy recognizes from Jack’s Mere Christianity. They talk about Warnie and how to help him.

Later, they go to Shotover Hill, and Joy talks to Jack about her health problems. Davy and Douglas ask when The Horse and His Boy will be published, and Jack tells them it will be out soon and that he has sent out The Magician’s Nephew. Jack and Joy walk by a giant stump, which Jack calls a “soaking machine” (283), a private place.

They return to the Kilns, and Joy sees the vegetables growing in the garden she suggested Jack’s gardener plant.

Chapter 39 opens with an epigraph from Davidman’s “Sonnet XXXVIII” that discusses the unchaste way the speaker looks at her addressee.

Joy puts her children to bed after reading from an unpublished manuscript about Narnia. Joining Jack in the other room, she asks about Mrs. Moore and Maureen, the two women who once lived at the Kilns. He hesitates and then tells her that Maureen and her mother stayed at the Kilns, but his intentions toward her changed once he converted. Warnie, he claims, expressed great disappointment that they lived at the Kilns. Joy tells him he guards his heart around her.

Chapter 40 opens with an epigraph from Davidman’s “Sonnet III,” discussing something that will stop the addressee from sleeping but is not lethal.

Joy and the boys continue to stay at the Kilns, and they explore the grounds outside. Joy finds Davy reading Prince Caspian in French, and she expresses admiration for his abilities. Warnie has recovered and returns home mid-summer.

Knowing that Jack throws away correspondence after responding, Joy finds a letter to Ruth Pitter, another poet. She reads the letter, offering commentary about the letter and its similarities to the ones he wrote to her. She discovers copies of Pitter’s poems, acknowledging that she writes better poetry than Joy.

Before Jack leaves for two weeks, he tells Joy that she can use his offices at Magdalen College. He praises Joy’s poetry, and she asks if h’ll write more for The Chronicles of Narnia—he wants to end before readers tire of the series. 

Chapter 41 opens with an epigraph from Davidman’s “Sonnet XLII,” comparing the addressee to gold.

Joy’s parents visit, arriving at her house in London. Her mother seems pleasantly surprised that Joy lives in an acceptable house. They ask Joy about her money situation and how the boys have adjusted. Joy tells them they will meet Jack the next day.

Her father insults Cambridge when speaking to Jack after he announces he has accepted Cambridge’s offer, and Joy looks mortified. Despite her father’s behavior, Jack invites them out to lunch again. Although Joy tries to show her parents monuments and sites in London, they choose to shop instead. As they leave, they give Joy gifts and money to help her financial situation.

After her parents leave, Joy realizes her sonnets are complete. 

Chapter 42 opens with an epigraph from Davidman’s “Sonnet XLII,” discussing the speaker’s pain and the addressee as gold.

Joy talks to Jack as he unpacks his boxes in Cambridge. Worried that he has made a mistake, Joy comforts him about the correctness of his decision to leave Oxford. They discuss his inaugural address, which Joy compliments, with one exception, calling attention to his discussion of periodization. They spend the night reciting lines to each other from Phantastes.

In January, Jack and Joy stand in her backyard. Amidst the cold winter, she asks Jack why he doesn’t pursue a romance with her, and he cites his faith. He can’t abandon his morality for feelings. Nevertheless, she feels his desire for her.

Chapter 43 opens with an epigraph from Davidman’s “Blessed Are the Bitter Things of God,” which repeats the title of the poem, linking these things to need rather than desire.

At the Kilns, Joy answers some of Jack’s correspondence, as she normally does. She recounts her work for Jack and writes to Belle, comparing Bill and Jack. Jack tells Joy that he doesn’t know if he will have another idea, and they brainstorm together. As Joy and Jack discuss Cupid and Psyche, they plan out a book that will discuss the myth. Jack writes quickly over the next weeks, and Joy sees herself in the book as the elder sister who hides her face. She asks Jack if he thinks she’s “ugly.” He denies that, telling her she is beautiful. Both are energized by the project, and Jack acknowledges her contribution to it. The book becomes Till We Have Faces, and Joy mentions that it had bound them together as man and woman.

Chapter 44 opens with an epigraph from Davidman’s “Sonnet XLI,” insisting on the speaker’s joy whether or not the addressee loves her.

As Joy types the last pages of Till We Have Faces, she declares it his best. Thinking about the novel, Joy realizes she has searched for love from Jack but that it must come from God. Shattered by the realization, Joy cries as Douglas sees her. She offers to go on a picnic with him and Davy.

Chapter 45 opens with an epigraph from Davidman’s “Sonnet XVIII,” critiquing universal love.

Joy admits she remains unaware of American news but concentrates on the world of the Kilns and writes productively. She receives a book contract to write about the seven deadly sins and manages to make money from her writing. Joy’s work visa must be renewed, and the British Foreign Office hesitates to do so. Joy knows that she will only be able to stay without a visa if she marries a citizen. She talks to Jack’s publisher on the phone, answering questions about copyediting for Surprised by Joy. Later, she folds laundry, recounting a visit from Eva and Chad Walsh. Eva, she remembers, commented about Jack’s love for her. Joy sees a strange woman as she walks into the house with her laundry. Confronting her, Joy finds out she’s the wife of a friend of Jack’s. Talking to Jack right after, she apologizes to him and tells him about her visa’s nonrenewal.

Chapter 46 opens with an epigraph from Davidman’s “Sonnet XLIV,” discussing the words that the speaker needs to say.

Jack takes Joy to a house in Oxford, which he says he will help her buy. He proposes to marry her in a civil ceremony, and she jokes about his romantic proposal. He explains he will marry her to maintain her residency and keep her close as a friend.

After they return to the Kilns, Joy gives him a folder of her sonnets after his nap. He reads the sonnets, commenting on her poetry and its value. He invites her out to the pub and to attend Evensong. She declines, preferring to stay in.

Chapter 47 opens with an epigraph from Davidman’s “Sonnet XLIII,” where the speaker expresses regret for acting like a mouse.

Jack arrives at the house he helped Joy buy to attend their civil ceremony, quoting from one of Joy’s sonnets to her. Douglas cries from the other room because Joy’s cat, Leo, has killed his pet bird. Jack comforts Douglas while Joy buries the bird.

In August, Joy leaves for London with Douglas and Davy, thinking about her happiness despite her growing illness. She notes that Jack bought the boys a horse to keep at the Kilns. Working on her book on the seven deadly sins, she also continues to write Bill about the boys and money. She and Jack grow together, seeing a play while holding hands and visiting with the other Inklings.

She asks Jack why he keeps their marriage a secret—she wants to tell everyone about it. 

Chapter 48 opens with an epigraph from Davidman’s “Sonnet XLIV,” asking the addressee to open his figurative door to save her heart.

After a dinner party, Joy expresses her reservations about their arrangement, noting that people have gossiped about Jack’s visits to her house. He offers to move her into the Kilns and to tell their friends that they have married. Joy wants a marriage in the Church, and Jack tells her they can’t due to her previous divorce, after which she mentions Edward’s abdication and his love for Wallis Simpson.

They kiss, and she feels his body yield to his desire. Joy considers her happiness as she recounts how ill she has become. 

Chapter 49 opens with an epigraph from Davidman’s “Sonnet XXXII,” which discusses sin and love.

The Last Battle, the final installment of the Narnia series, is released, along with Till We Have Faces, and Joy considers the upcoming move to the Kilns. She stands up and steps forward, collapsing in pain. She manages to drag herself to the phone to get help.

Chapter 50 opens with an epigraph from Davidman’s “Yet One More Spring,” which considers the speaker’s postmortem fate.

Waking up in the hospital, Joy tries to shift in bed and feels pain radiate through her body. Her friend Kay says Joy called her when she fell, and Kay and her husband helped Joy.

The doctor approaches, telling her she has a broken leg. Jack comes into the room as Joy finds out she has some kind of cancer. Jack cycles through grief, and she asks Jack if her sons know about her illness. Listening to the proposed treatments, Joy worries that Jack must relive his grief for his mother.

Chapter 51 opens with an epigraph from Davidman’s “Sonnet VIII” that compares love to water and loneliness to thirst.

Joy sees her sons at her bedside, and Davy tells Joy that Jack has permitted them to live at the Kilns immediately. As Jack enters, Joy realizes that Jack has told her sons about her illness. Joy makes Jack promise that her sons will never return to America and their father; she considers how unfair her illness is once she has found happiness.

Chapter 52 opens with an epigraph from Davidman’s “Yet One More Spring,” which voices the speaker’s wish to become words that would last after her death.

Joy considers her illness, thinking about faith and sin. Wondering if she deserves her pain and sickness, she vacillates from faith to doubt. Amid her sickness, she and Jack both desire to wed in the Church. The bishop turns down their request for an exception after Jack argues that her marriage to Bill wasn’t valid.

As months pass, Joy stays at the hospital after her surgeries, and Jack visits often. She announces no hope remains for her recovery, and Jack strengthens her faith.

Chapter 54 opens with an epigraph from Davidman’s “Acrostic in Hendecasyllabics,” where the speaker asks the addressee to listen to his paramour.

Warnie greets Joy in the hospital before her marriage ceremony with Jack. Jack has asked his friend Father Bide to wed them in the Church, and one of the nurses seems skeptical of them. Jack asks Father Bide to pray for Joy, and he does in the hospital room.

Chapter 54 opens with an epigraph from Davidman’s “Yet One More Spring,” where the speaker mentions the difficulties of her heart.

Joy goes home to the Kilns, announcing the doctors have sent her home to live out her last days. Jack promises to make love to her as soon as she gets well.

Joy vomits in her clean bed, and Jack springs into action to clean it up. After, he kisses her passionately, and Joy tells Jack that she has learned from him that she can’t escape God’s will.

Waking up later, Joy hears from Jack that Bill has written. She asks him to let her read Bill’s letter, and he acquiesces. After expressing his sympathy, Bill attacks Joy with false claims of mental illness before writing Jack that his sons need him. Jack swears to Joy that he will never let Davy and Douglas return to Bill. 

Chapter 55 opens with an epigraph from Davidman’s “Sonnet XLIV,” describing the final voyage of life.

Joy discovers her cancer has stopped growing and been replaced by developing bone. Later at the Kilns, Joy realizes that Jack’s diagnosis of osteoporosis means he has assumed her illness and pain. As they walk around the property, each with their own cane, Joy tells Jack he needs to renovate the Kilns. They reminisce about their early memories together. They go back into the house and make love.

The Epilogue opens with an epigraph from The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe, describing how Aslan’s roar will end all pain and death.

Joy considers her last years and their honeymoon in Ireland a year and a half after she moved to the Kilns to die. They fly to Ireland, breaking their earlier promise never to fly. As she approaches death, they go to Greece for one last trip. After her death, Jack writes two more books before dying three years after Joy. She considers their postmortem reputations, and Davy’s exploration of Jewish spirituality and Douglas’s of Christian spirituality. Douglas becomes a writer and helps make movie adaptations of The Chronicles of Narnia. The novel ends with the epitaph on Joy’s tombstone.

Joy’s (Imagined) Letter to Jack

Part of the Extended Edition and not of the body of the novel, Callahan recreates Joy’s letter in 1950, adding details to the history Joy originally shares with Jack. In this imagined letter, Joy confesses her Jewish identity, her intransigence with her parents, and her intellectual curiosity, stoked by his books. Discussing her ambitions and her previous political affiliations, Joy explains her conversion.