Alone

The men aren’t wearing military or government uniforms. Since they don’t want serial numbers, Maddie thinks they’re probably stealing.

The men might not be dangerous or want to hurt Maddie if they see her. They might rescue her.

Maddie’s mind is full of questions, and she can’t decide what to do.

One man approaches Angry Voice with a kitten, suggesting they keep it as a pet. Angry Voice kills the kitten in response and throws its body in the snow. The other man returns to work without protesting verbally.

Maddie and George run back to her dad’s house without the looters seeing them. Maddie worries the looters might start raiding houses once they finish with stores. Maddie thinks her one advantage over the looters is that she knows about them, but they don’t know about her.

Maddie dresses up in her dad and Jennifer’s black clothing and leaves George at home. Staying hidden in shadows, she finds the looters stealing the bins of cell phones left at the bus station. Maddie notices her faded sign still hanging there, announcing she’s been left behind and needs help. It has her cell phone number on it. Angry Voice sees the sign, takes out his own phone and dials, but hangs up after a while. Another man approaches him and says they’re done loading the trucks. The men then leave and pull onto the interstate.

Even though the looters have left town, Maddie is scared to go out or leave traces showing that she’s in town or in her house. After a week, she’s comfortable going out again. The looters broke windows and doors of many businesses in town, making it easier for Maddie to get into more places. In a jewelry store, she finds some tools and then a handgun and ammunition. She briefly considers if she’d be capable of using a gun in self-defense against someone like Angry Voice and quickly decides the answer is yes, so she takes it.

Maddie finds a library book on firearm safety. She practices loading the gun and does target practice in an alley until her aim is very good.

Maddie and George move back to Maddie’s mom’s house for summer because it’s cooler. For a few months, Maddie is still spooked from having seen the looters, so she brings the gun every time she goes out.

Maddie gets her first period and finds pads in her mom’s bathroom. Even though getting her period isn’t that scary compared to other hardships she’s been through, she still misses her mom and wishes she were here for this milestone. She also remembers movies where a girl gets her period and is told she’s old enough to date. All the boys Maddie would have wanted to date are very far away, so this milestone also feels less meaningful without them around. She wants to fall apart emotionally, but she can’t.

Maddie would trade anything to have her family back. She wonders if she should have reached out to the looters after all—maybe they would have let her ride somewhere with them where she could get help. However, they also might have killed her, especially if they thought she saw them stealing. Hopefully, loneliness won’t kill her, and she made the right choice.

Maddie cuddles with George and sings them both to sleep.

Maddie and George venture to a neighborhood full of unfinished houses, the construction seemingly interrupted by the evacuation. There’s only one finished house, with a sign that says “model home.” The term makes Maddie physically sick to the point she nearly vomits—she recalls seeing stick-figure families on minivan windows and hating how having divorced and remarried parents made her feel. Maddie hurls a rock through the window, which is “almost satisfying.”

Maddie and George scavenge the half-built houses for tools the workers might have left behind. Maddie climbs the half-built stairs in one house, but George starts fussing for her to come down. She ignores him until she notices a tornado is on the horizon.

Maddie and George race back to the model home, the only finished structure in sight. Its doors are locked, but window wells lead into the basement. Maddie jumps into one but injures her leg. George hesitates to follow. Maddie gets upstairs and climbs into a bathtub, then passes out.

Maddie comes to in the bathtub, thankful she survived.

Maddie doesn’t know how much time has passed, but it’s still daytime. George is by her side and also survived. Maddie tries to stand, but her leg is too injured, and she has to lean on George to clamber out of the bathtub.

The model home doesn’t have many useful items in it, but Maddie needs something to use as a crutch. She decides the shower rod will do and yanks it down. She hobbles outside to see all the half-built houses are gone. She jokes that the house really is a model home because she and George survived in it.

Maddie and George limp to a drugstore. Maddie recognizes that she needs stitches, though she knows that’s impossible now. She finds a proper crutch her size, supplies to clean and wrap her wound, and snacks.

Maddie hobbles to her grandparents’ apartment, which is closest, and then collapses in bed. She has fever dreams about when she was five and her parents divorced and her grandparents took care of her often. She “conjures” her grandparents to take care of her now.

Maddie’s wound gets infected, so she cleans and dresses it again. George remains next to Maddie until she heals, and then she feeds them both.

Maddie drives to the store for winter supplies. However, she only uses the van when absolutely necessary to conserve gas.

Maddie is reading the library’s fiction books in alphabetical order, skipping ones she doesn’t like after a few pages. So far, she’s read 147 books, and her favorite is Jane Eyre by Charlotte Bronte because Jane’s loneliness reflects her own.

Maddie hopes her family is safe somewhere and that, by now, they’ve been reunited and discovered her absence, so they’ll find her soon.

At the library, Maddie finds an almanac with centuries worth of calendars in it. She figures out she’s been alone for 17 months and 11 days so far.

Maddie doesn’t connect with most of the library’s teen fiction books. The heroines might not have their parents, but they always team up with friends or family to accomplish their lofty goals. Maddie doubts these protagonists would do so well if faced with her own situation.

Maddie again questions what the “imminent threat” was. If the air is poison, it’s very slow poison, and if attackers are coming, they are also incredibly slow. She questions why an evacuation was necessary since she and George have survived this whole time.

Maddie wonders how far she’d have to drive until the evacuation ended and whether she’d be able to get more gas somehow. She might be able to find other people stranded in a different town, but they could be violent.

She’s driven across Colorado and Kansas before, and it’s a lot of farmland and fields. She would likely run out of gas before finding anyone. In addition, even though the imminent threat doesn’t appear to exist where Maddie is now, she might find it if she goes venturing farther out.

Maddie again remembers her father’s advice that staying where she is presents her best chance of being rescued.

Maddie’s snow gear is too small now, so she wears Jennifer’s and her dad’s. She and George take a walk to the park and see bald eagles at the frozen lake.

It almost seems like a normal winter morning when everyone else is just still asleep rather than gone.

Maddie finds Elliot’s book report on Island of the Blue Dolphins, which she had discussed with him before everyone left. Elliot writes that, while finding food and shelter is necessary for Karana’s survival, this isn’t that difficult for her because she’s on her own home island and knows where everything is. It’s actually harder for her to deal with isolation and loneliness over 18 years. To cope, Karana has to “keep herself company” and “give herself pep talks” (249).

Maddie cries, reflecting that Elliot was correct. Food and shelter are necessary but obtainable. Isolation and loneliness, however, are much more challenging. Maddie’s mental health is poor due to prolonged isolation.

Maddie regrets the times she was rude to her stepparents or ignored and avoided her family. Now, she just wishes they were back. She thinks if Karana can cope with 18 years of isolation, she can too, but she needs to change her attitude and habits to safeguard her mental health under the circumstances.

It finally starts to warm up, and flowers bloom.

Maddie cleans the whole house, which makes her feel hopeful and rejuvenated.

Maddie again weighs the pros and cons of staying versus venturing out in the van. It could be years before anyone finds her, but she doesn’t know how to put more gas in the van.

Maddie uses neighbors’ keys to try and start their cars, but all the cars are dead by now. She decides she’ll ride her bike to the nearby town of Peakmont when the snow has melted. This way, she can conserve the gas in the van, which she’ll need if she has to endure more winters here.

Maddie lifts weights and runs to get in shape for her long bike ride.

Maddie loads supplies into a bike trailer and then bikes along the highway for 13 miles to Peakmont. Along the way, she passes animals but no people.

Maddie leaves her bike and ventures out with her father’s hiking pole as a potential weapon. Looters have apparently been here as well because windows and doors are smashed. She gets some propane and batteries from a hardware store as well as a few dog toys. This trip is the longest she has been away from George, so she misses him.

Leaving the hardware store, Maddie encounters a group of dogs. She regrets not bringing her gun, which she had forgotten about. They growl at her as if they are aggressive. She throws a handful of beef jerky to distract them. When one still comes after her, she sprays it and the others with a fire extinguisher. The dogs run off. Maddie gets back on the highway to bike home.

Maddie rides so fast and hard and is so shaken by her near escape that, when she does stop, she vomits twice.

Maddie sees a group of horses running, which rejuvenates her enough to finish her ride back.