Absolutely Almost

Albie starts leaving notes for Betsy every morning with tips on being cool so that she can learn how and they can hang out again. However, Betsy doesn’t follow any of his suggestions.

Darren suggests that Albie run for vice president in the class elections; it is the “second best” job, the best being president, which Darren says he himself will be. Albie is initially confused about how Darren is so sure he will win, but he quickly realizes “the right thing to say” (167) is that Darren would be a “good president.” Darren assures Albie that he will ensure no one else runs for vice president so that Darren and Albie can be in charge together.

Albie finds a note in his desk asking him to stop leaving “dumb notes” in the writer’s desk; he has no idea who the note is from. Albie leaves that day’s “helpful hint” in Betsy’s cubby, as she is already at her desk.

Albie, Mom, and Dad go over to Erlan’s place to watch the pilot episode of the Kasteevs’ reality show. The episode shows Erlan and his brothers’ birthday party; Albie also appears in it, but his face is blurred out. After the show, Erlan goes over to Albie’s for a sleepover. Albie offers him the better sleeping bag since Erlan is now a “famous TV star”; Erlan refuses, asking Albie to treat him normally. The boys proceed to have a “very normal pillow fight” (171).

Calista comes over on the weekend since Mom and Dad both have to work. When Albie asks if they can get donuts, she pours him a bowlful of Cheerios, dubbing it “donut cereal.” After breakfast, they draw superheroes again. Seeing how much Albie loves donuts, Calista has an idea about what to get him for his birthday; she refuses to tell Albie, and he guesses it will be a donut.

At school on Monday, Darren and his friends are avoiding Albie. When Albie tries to sit with them at lunch, Darren calls him a liar for claiming to be Erlan’s best friend; because Albie’s face was blurred out in the Kasteevs’ television show, no one believes Albie is close with Erlan. Darren calls Albie a “dummy” and refuses to let him sit with them. Albie eats alone at the end of the table for the next few days. He feels like a “nobody,” misses Betsy, and wishes he had never been cool.

Mr. Clifton cracks a good joke in math club, and although everyone else laughs, Albie doesn’t. The past couple of days, Albie hasn’t found any of the jokes funny.

Darren gets in trouble for using a slur for people with intellectual disabilities, and the word is outlawed at school. Darren still calls Albie other names, most commonly “dummy”; Albie thinks “maybe it’s not the words that need to be outlawed” (180).

Albie stops leaving notes for Betsy as he doesn’t want her to be cool—he likes her the way she is. He also realizes that Betsy is angry, and he hopes that she will decide she likes him again.

Erlan tells Albie that his family is moving to a bigger apartment on the Upper West Side—the most affluent New York City neighborhood. Albie is speechless. Mom and Dad tell Albie that Erlan’s family is probably moving because their TV show has done so well—it has been picked up for a second season. Albie finally realizes the downside of having a famous best friend.

Albie loses the class elections; he gets only one vote, which is from himself.

Calista often draws in a sketchbook, which she doesn’t let Albie look at, saying that it is for private thoughts. Once Albie does take a peek and sees, among other sketches, one of a sad boy who looks just like him. Albie doesn’t look in the sketchbook anymore.

A new family with a baby moves into Erlan’s old apartment. Albie thinks it will take the baby at least two years to learn the Vulcan salute.

Although Albie doesn’t feel like celebrating his birthday at school, Mom buys him mini cupcakes for the class. Albie smells them as they ride to school in a cab that day, and he begins to get a little excited after all.

However, when he gets to school, Darren and his friends yell at Albie for bringing cupcakes into the classroom, as cupcakes have egg and Sage is allergic. Albie is confused about whether he forgot about this or just didn’t know, but he can’t think with people yelling at him, and he stays quiet.

Eventually, Mrs. Rouse calms the class and asks Albie to leave the cupcakes in the cafeteria; he can take them home after school. Darren volunteers to drop the box off. When Albie goes to pick them up later, the word “DUMMY” is written on top, and all the cupcakes are smooshed. Albie throws the whole box into the trash.

Albie, Mom, and Dad have a quiet birthday dinner for him on Saturday. Albie lies to Mom that everyone liked the cupcakes at school. Mom gives him a book because she thinks Albie liked Johnny Tremain so much. Dad’s present is in a big box; at first Albie thinks it is another model airplane, but it is a duplicate model of the A-10 Thunderbolt. Dad says they can build it together. Realizing that Dad must have completely forgotten that he ever gave Albie the first model from the science museum, Albie goes to his room and slams his door shut.

Albie throws the old, incomplete model of the A-10 Thunderbolt out of the window. He hopes Dad will remember the first one and ask to help build it, so that Albie can tell Dad that he threw it out. Albie decides that he doesn’t like birthdays anymore.

The next morning, the gift-wrapped box with the new model airplane is outside Albie’s door; he hides it on his shelf in his closet. Albie props the cardboard TV frame against his bedroom doorway and watches Dad run on the treadmill, oblivious to everything around him. Albie pushes all the buttons on the cardboard remote, but the channel doesn’t change.

Calista comes to get Albie to school on Monday, but he refuses to leave bed. Seeing him teary-eyed, she asks him what happened, and he tells her everything. Albie stays in bed and cries for a while, and Calista lets him skip school, as everyone deserves an occasional “sad day.” They go to the Bronx Zoo instead, which eventually cheers Albie up. On the way home, Calista gives him the zoo map to keep as a souvenir and tells him that he must go to school the next day—it would be tough, but Albie is good at being “brave.”

Albie asks Calista about whether he should tell Mom and Dad about the day at the zoo. Calista does not directly ask him to lie, but she agrees that if Mom and Dad knew the truth, Calista would get in trouble. Albie decides not to tell Mom and Dad, to which Calista doesn’t say anything.

Mom finds a brown box in the fridge with a birthday wish addressed to Albie: It is Calista’s gift for him, a giant cake shaped like a donut. The cake is so delicious that Albie almost forgets that it is still a “sad day.”

Albie describes the different things that happen when it rains in New York. These things include Darren, in the midst of making fun of Albie, getting thoroughly sprayed with dirty rainwater by a passing bus. Albie is pleased.

Albie begins assembling the second model airplane. It is easier this time around since he has already done it once before.

Calista and Gus break up, which leaves her sad and teary. To cheer her up, Albie sneaks out to the bodega and brings back tubs of ice cream with Hugo’s help. On seeing this, Calista cries again, hugs Albie, and asks him, “How did you get so smart?” (216).

After math club, Mr. Clifton asks Albie why he has seemed sad the past few days. Albie tells Mr. Clifton about Darren calling him “dummy.” Mr. Clifton tells Albie that Albie gets to decide which words are hurtful, and “dummy” shouldn’t be one, because Albie isn’t one. On the way back to class, Albie thinks about this and rolls the word around in his head over and over again. Though even in his head the word does initially hurt, by the time he reaches class, he thinks he “might just have rolled its sharp edges a tiny bit smoother” (220).

Albie gets home and takes out the letter from his old school to read for the first time; he can’t understand most of it but realizes that he was kicked out. Calista comforts him while he cries, and asks him if he would ever choose to go back; Albie decides that he likes his new school better. Calista helps Albie make a cardboard frame in which he hangs the letter on the back of his bedroom door.