A List of Cages

This chapter is narrated by Julian as he describes his group therapy session at the hospital. A counselor with "short spiky brown hair and a white coat" leads the group (270). Julian is expected to talk, which he hates. The leader pulls questions out from a plastic box. One question asks what Julian would do if he could change his life. Another question asks if he could confront someone who has hurt him, what would he say. The leader goes around the group in a circle, wanting answers. When it’s Julian's turn, he shakes his head, indicating he doesn't want to talk.

After about an hour, the counselor lets them write in their journals, and then they go back to their rooms. When they bring in the lunch trays, Julian only eats because he knows Adam will ask him if he's eaten anything.

Adam narrates this chapter from Julian's hospital room. Delores Carter comes in to the room to say her goodbyes because Adam's mother has been granted temporary custody of Julian. Adam asks her if there is any news about Russell. Carter tells Adam that the police found out he was fired last year from his job because of an incident with a woman at work, but nobody at his last job knows much about him. Adam asks Delores how Russell was paying his bills if he wasn't working. Carter explains that both of Julian's parents had life insurance policies, which went to Russell after they died, in order to help Russell to take care of Julian. "'Bastard,'" Adam says to her, when he thinks about how Julian didn't have a cell phone and wore ragged clothes while Russell had nice suits and drove a flashy car.

Carter tells Adam that there's a warrant out on Russell for child abuse. She explains how nobody is actually chasing after him and then adds that "'fortunately for Julian, Russell doesn't seem to know that'" (273). 

Julian narrates another experience at the hospital group therapy session. The counselor asks what keeps them trapped, what stops them from being free and living the life they want to live: "No one speaks, but there's a nervous strain in the air as if a live wire is snapping through the room" (274). Julian feels pain "pouring out of everyone in the circle" (274). Then Julian sees it "all at once"–all the things that have kept [him] trapped" (274).

Julian journals his list of fears–his "list of cages" (275). He writes down all the fears that have kept him trapped: his fear of talking, fear of crying, fear of wanting, and fear of dreaming.

Adam narrates as he and Julian return to Adam's house from the hospital. It has not even been an hour, but Julian insists on going back to Russell's house to pick up his mother's green spiral notebook. Adam refuses to let Julian go without someone with him, so Adam arranges Charlie, Matt, and Jesse to guard Adam's van while Julian and Adam enter Russell's house. Charlie texts them twice while they're in the house to be sure everything is okay.

Julian tiptoes to his bedroom and discovers that it's already been cleaned out, so they go to the opposite end of the house and enter a very neat garage with everything boxed and labeled. They search through the garage but still don't find the green spiral notebook. They walk on to Russell's bedroom, where there is an enormous four poster bed with matching chest of drawers, and they look there. Julian begins to panic, thinking that his mother's notebook isn't there, and Russell threw it away. Julian starts looking pale and sits down. Then Adam and Julian head down the hall to Russell's office and open the door.

Adam narrates as they enter Russell's office. They are shocked to see that in spite of the neatness in other parts of the house, Russell's office is crammed so full of things they have difficulty walking inside. Inside the office are rows of glass-door cabinets, like in the living room of the main house, but these cabinets are not against the wall; instead, they are staggered throughout the room. The cabinets are tightly stuffed with things like old calculators, masks, and coins. If they were to open a cabinet, everything would fall out. They begin their search for Julian's mother's green spiral notebook. While Julian is searching around the office area, Adam looks inside Russell's desk and finds one of the drawers locked. He picks up a letter opener and stabs at the locked drawer, and the drawer slides open. Inside is one of Julian's red T-shirts he wore when he was a kid. An external hard drive falls out of the shirt. Adam keeps it. Julian finds his mother's green spiral notebook.

When they get home, Adam shows Julian the hard drive and asks him if it's his, but Julian says it isn't. "Taking this as permission," Adam plugs it into his computer (282). The hard drive contains videos of Russell beating Julian when he was 9 or 10 years old.

Julian now narrates as he watches the videos. He tells Adam to delete them, but Adam refuses to delete them, telling Julian the videos are evidence, and they have to show this to the police. Julian doesn't want Adam to show the humiliating videos to anyone, and he confesses there are even videos worse than that, in which Julian’s not wearing any clothes. Adam agrees not to show them to anyone, but Adam refuses to delete the videos, just in case Russell comes back.

Adam narrates this two-page chapter as he, Catherine and Julian talk about how to decorate Julian's room, which used to be the guest room in Adam's house. Catherine asks Julian what color he wants to paint the room; Julian says the walls don't need painting. Adam thinks the room is "insanely girly" with yellow daisies and a framed photo of a Persian cat named Mittens (285). Adam jokes that Julian can't sneak a girl into the room with it looking like that, but Julian says he won't be sneaking girls in there. Adam jokes that Julian is "'hopeless'" and tells Julian, "'we're painting'" (285).

Adam has trouble sleeping thinking about all the telltale signs regarding Julian's abuse. He tries to think good thoughts to help him sleep.