A Land of Permanent Goodbyes

“I am not the reason why hearts can be so dark. I can’t even take credit for the ones who do good.”

The voice of Destiny, the book’s omniscient narrator, is introduced in a prologue-style passage preceding the book’s first chapter. Destiny debunks the commonly held idea that a human’s future is subject primarily to fate. Destiny notes that humans themselves often control the fates of other humans. Destiny cannot influence human actions, as this quote makes clear, and is not responsible for the good or the bad. This is both an empowering and frightening message: Tareq’s family will become victims due to no fault of their own.

“I truly cared for these people. They did everything right. They were making all the decisions that would lead them to the happy ending you all dream of. But unfortunately, it was the decisions made by those in their country—and those outside Syria—that brought them to this night…where I had to meet them again, on a hot summer evening in 2015, not in happiness but in sorrow. This is their story.”

Destiny introduces Tareq’s story with these words. This quote touches on a painful message of the book—namely, the idea that bad things happen to good people. Destiny remarks that Tareq and his family “did everything right.” They could not control this fate. As the book goes on to emphasize, they are victims of decisions made my other humans, primarily religious and political leaders motivated by greed.

“With a wave, he closed the door on the kid that he knew he would likely never see again—this is what Syria had become, a land of permanent goodbyes.”

This quote introduces the book’s title and brands Syria as the land of permanent goodbyes. It describes a brief interaction with Ahmed, the rescue worker who digs Tareq out of the rubble of his bombed-out family home. Many goodbyes will follow, mostly between people—but there is also the larger goodbye that Tareq must make to his homeland. 

“That online piece, and many articles for that matter, made a lot of claims about what may have ignited the war. In reality, there were many sparks that started the inferno that burned a great civilization into the ashes—there always are.”

Reflecting on how people in Syria are looking for answers to what happened to their country, Tareq thinks of an article shared by his family and friends who support the government of President Bashar al-Assad on Facebook. It claimed that the loss of fertile land sparked an anti-government revolt in 2011. In this quote, Destiny highlights this article as one of many—all of them simply a search for answers. People are unable to find any single answer, however, because there is no one answer. Serious conflicts and wars usually stem from multiple factors. 

“Tareq’s family always considered themselves good Muslims. They said their prayers, not always five times a day, but they believed in a forgiving and merciful God. That was the Islam they knew and loved. His mother wore a headscarf in mosques and in areas where she deemed it necessary, but never thought of it as a requirement. His father disliked the jiab and all those who thought themselves better Muslims than he or his family. He believed a true Muslim would know not to judge.”

These words reflect Tareq’s views of Daesh. It’s one of the book’s careful attempts to delineate the traditional religion of Islam from the views of extremists. The young adult novel actively seeks to debunk the idea that all Muslims hold extreme views like those of the Taliban or Daesh.  

“Daesh is a group of thugs who latched onto a religion in order to spread their darkness. Not unlike the shabiha. I have seen it throughout time and in recent history with groups like the Nazis, Al Qaeda, the Ku Klux Klan and the Taliban, among so many more.”

This quote further delineates for the reader the difference between Daesh and the Islamic faith in general. This quote exemplifies the value of making Destiny an omniscient narrator. While Tareq can express his distaste for the militant Daesh rules, he can’t draw the same far-reaching comparisons that Destiny can—as, in this case, to the Nazis, Al Qaeda, etc. Destiny provides a more informed and objective oversight than a teenager like Tareq could, if he were to narrate. 

“This is what’s bemusing about humans—oftentimes curiosity drives you to do things that you know will haunt you, but you do them anyway. And you do them again and again. The worst of you take that curiosity to measures that are unfathomable to the best of you. But the curiosity is in you all.”

The narratorial voice of Destiny points out multiple flaws of humans throughout the book. Sometimes, there are flaws that can be both good and bad—as is the case with curiosity. Destiny also flags good things about humans, such as the elasticity of the human heart and the desire of many humans to be helpers.   

“The invisible lines in your world hold so much power. Your eyes do not see them, but whether you live or die can depend on which side you stand on.”

Again, Destiny offers an objective and far-reaching observation regarding mankind: In this case, it’s a criticism of nationalism and the arbitrary nature of borders. This quote also serves to remind the reader that refugees can be born anywhere, at any time. While you might be on the “right” side of the border one day, you can never be 100% sure of what will happen in your country (nor can you control it). You thus might find yourself on the “wrong” side of the border the next day.

“Goodbye, Home—never leave us.

We didn’t want to go…

We saw the people run, so we ran too.

We saw our loved ones die; we didn’t want to die too.

The bombs kept dropping,

And we kept falling,

[…] Our great nation fell, city by city, town by town,

So we left…following the trail of blood and tears.

Hello, Strange Land, please take care of us.

Hello, Strangers, please don’t hate us.

We know this will never be home and

we will never be yours.

But please remember our hearts beat and

our blood flows.

And our pain, only a few people know.”

This is the poem read aloud by the waitress Shayma during the open mic night at the coffee shop in Little Syria. It leaves Tareq and the other Syrians there emotional, many even moved to tears. The poem encapsulates the pain of leaving their country and the fear that comes with stepping into a new, foreign land. 

“Through time this has happened in many countries and continents. As people migrate, they bring with them their languages, foods and cultures. And as the years pass, they adapt what they’ve brought to fit into their new lives and countries. This is why the tastes, smells and feels of San Francisco’s Chinatown are slightly, and in some ways vastly, different from that in Manila’s Chinatown. The greatest of your nations, I’ve learned, are those that embrace the cultures and customs of the people who immigrate there—the best learning from the best.”

Again, the omniscient voice of Destiny takes Tareq’s story and contextualize it on a broader scale, geographically and historically. In this case, Destiny is commenting on the existence of a “Little Syria” neighborhood in Istanbul. The final sentence reminds the reader that those countries that do embrace immigrants instead of shunning them actually stand to benefit. 

“The story of displacement and loss is woven into the fabric of human history. One day it’s them, the next day it’s you. But as generations pass, most forget that their people, too, have suffered. Some, though, still hold the empathy in their souls.”

An overarching message of the book is a call for empathy towards fellow humans. This quote reminds the reader of the fact that they never know when they will be the ones in need of assistance, a stark reminder that they should thus practice empathy. Alexia is one such example: Although she was born and raised in the US, she comes from parents who were refugees and migrants and is aware that this is part of her own history. This is part of what makes her so empathetic towards Tareq and his fellow refugees.

“I’m disappointed in the ten people in the world who has the control of the planet. They need to help fix this. But where are these leaders of the world?”

Alexia remembers these words, spoken by the old Greek woman, Anis, when she visits a cemetery and sees the many unmarked graves of refugees there. It’s a political commentary of sorts, emphasizing the fact that world leaders often fail to help the most disadvantaged and in need—even though they are also often responsible for creating the circumstances (like war) that result in people being disadvantaged and in need.

“What has God done but take our family, life and country away from us?”

Traumatic events can leave people questioning everything from their identity to their faith. Tareq questions himself on multiple occasions, which is understandable give how much his world has been shaken up. Here, he questions his faith. It’s a poignant moment, as he relies on God to help him find Susan when the traffickers take her, and their situation as a whole has been caused by convoluted interpretations of religion. 

“Hearts broke collectively around the globe. Discussions gained steam on how to help these refugees [...] But it was fleeting. Since that day, thousands more children, women and men have died for the same reason without making it into the papers.”

This quote references a real person and event, Alan Kurdi, a three-year-old Syrian boy who died crossing the Aegean Sea and whose dead body was photographed, washed up on the beach. By incorporating real-world details, the author touches the reader on a personal level. Many readers might’ve seen this image. The reader might be left wondering if they were one of the many who saw it, was shocked, and then ultimately went on about their everyday lives.

“In your world, the burden of softness and vulnerability is an extra weight a segment of the population carries. The daily decisions of where to stand and walk are always a gamble, much more so for a female than for a male.”

The refugee experience is the central theme of the work; however, it’s complemented by a smaller “niche” theme—the female refugee experience. From Susan to Muzhgan, many characters’ stories attest that women face additional challenges as refugees. Destiny explicates this fact clearly in this quote.

“The water glistened, soft, tranquil and yet dazzling—summoning the desperate like a siren song calling for Odysseus (a man I crossed paths with years ago).”

The reference to Odysseus aligns Tareq with the Greek mythological hero. Odysseus had to travel 10 years to find his home. Tareq might not have to travel 10 years, but his journey is likewise long and arduous, and filled with life-threatening hurdles. It could very well take 10 years for Tareq to even feel at home in Germany—if he ever does.

“Helpers come in many forms. As do the hunters.”

The narrative demonstrates these words repeatedly. The multifaceted faces of the helpers are seen in the diverse volunteers who work alongside Alexia, for example. Meanwhile, the book makes it clear that hunters can take any form, even a fellow countryman. The smuggler Abu Laith takes advantage of fellow Syrians, for example. A shared home identity doesn’t keep him from being a hunter. The book thus conveys the fact that you have to judge hunters versus helpers based on their hearts and their actions, not aspects like religion, nationality, politics, or race.

“Terry would be proud to have known that someone with courage and patience such as yours is wearing his jacket.”

These words are in the letter that Sally Martin, an American woman, puts into the pocket of the jacket she donates to help refugees arriving in Greece. Her letter gives comfort to Alexia as well as the jacket’s final recipient, a young man who shared Tareq’s boat. Sally’s words speak to the connectedness that humans can feel when they choose to become helpers, finding commonalities across continents, languages, religions, and more. 

“He will continue to have flashbacks and nightmares throughout his life. The memories will fill him, making him anxious.”

The traumatic impact of the refugee experience is a central theme in the book. It’s spoken to explicitly in a few instances, as in here, when Destiny describes the nightmares that Tareq will have going forward. In the Epilogue, Salim is also wakes up screaming at night.

“She was met by the hands of refugees wanting to help her as she hopped off a boat, following her own terrifying experience.”

In this instance, Alexia’s character serves to demonstrate a point that Destiny has made repeatedly throughout the book—namely, the tables can always turn and leave the “helper” becoming the person in need of help. This quote occurs after Alexia has saved some young refugees from human trafficking, putting herself in danger in the process. The people who she helped, however, are there to lend a hand—literally. It’s a positive demonstration of the idea that what goes around, comes around.

“When you think the world is against you, please just take a moment and look for them—the helpers.”

Alexia makes this plea to Tareq before they part ways in Greece. Given that Tareq has expressed anger at how he is treated as a refugee—like a criminal, like someone people are afraid of—Alexia’s plea is well-timed. It’s also a plea to the reader, however. One of the book’s messages is that identifying helpers is a way to gain hope in an otherwise (at times) dark world.

“Her smuggler in Turkey had repeatedly raped her before he finally set her free. She had no one to turn to but them, girls she had just met, but whom she was connected to by a shared language and homeland. The camps didn’t have the capabilities to help with these circumstances, so she was left to cope on her own.”

Jamila relays this information to Tareq about another character, Muzhgan. Many female characters, including Jamila and her sister, have flagged the fact that women have it harder in times of crisis (like war) as they face additional threats, such as rape. Although the book has hinted at this on multiple occasions, this is the first and only case in which it concretely explicates such a danger. Previously, only hints have been made, such as when Tareq sees Syrian women being exploited in Istanbul. 

“They smile at us and make us human again after being yelled at by their military and police. They make me remember, every country has good people and bad people. Just like mine.”

The impact of Alexia’s instruction to Tareq—to look for the helpers—seems to work. He no longer sees only the bad but also the good around him. The book thus demonstrates how taking this positive outlook can actually help a person to feel more positive, driving home the message to the reader: Look for the helpers (and be a helper).