60 pages • 2 hours read
Deb CalettiA Heart in a Body in the World
Fiction | Novel | YA | Published in 2018A modern alternative to SparkNotes and CliffsNotes, SuperSummary offers high-quality Study Guides with detailed chapter summaries and analysis of major themes, characters, and more.
Chapters 17-20Chapter Summaries & Analyses
Chapter 17 Summary
Dawn Celeste explains that Grandpa Ed’s tire blew out. Grandpa knew Dawn Celeste and Luke were hiking in the area and asked them to pick up Annabelle. Dawn Celeste explains that Annabelle should stay with them for a while, at least a day or two, because Grandpa has to go back to a nearby town to get a new tire. Annabelle realizes Dawn Celeste and Grandpa have been in touch this whole time and wonders if Grandpa is in love. Dawn Celeste and Luke give Annabelle a change of clothes and a bunk to sleep in.
When Annabelle wakes up, she feels guilty for inconveniencing Dawn Celeste and Luke. Annabelle also realizes Dawn Celeste drove her a mile and a half away from where they’d picked her up, which means Annabelle cheated by driving, rather than running, for that portion of her route.
Outside, it is another clear, beautiful day. The storm has passed. Annabelle asks Dawn Celeste to drive her to the place she picked her up, so Annabelle can make up the mile and a half. Dawn Celeste lends Annabelle a T-shirt and a pair of shorts. Unbeknownst to Dawn Celeste, Annabelle’s “plan is to jog casually until she’s out of sight and then flee. It gets a little hazy after that” (173). Annabelle quickly makes up the mile and a half and sits down on the side of the road, unsure what to do next.
Annabelle remembers the night of the winter dance over a year earlier. Annabelle and her friends attend the dance in a big group. First, they go to dinner. Later, The Taker asks Annabelle to dance. While they dance, he presses himself against her, and Annabelle feels his erection, something she’s never told anyone. Annabelle feels guilty when she thinks of this moment because “she is confused about what she did and didn’t cause. She is confused about desire, and her own desirability” (177), and she worries she did something to encourage his flirting. Once the memory passes, Annabelle imagines she sees her friend Kat by the side of the road. In her mind Annabelle apologizes to Kat for all the times she wasn’t a better friend.
Chapter 18 Summary
Annabelle realizes she can’t keep sitting on the side of the road, so she decides to return to Dawn Celeste’s RV. As she stands up, Annabelle sees something in the distance approaching her and realizes it’s Luke Messenger. Luke explains that he came to check on Annabelle because Dawn Celeste was worried Annabelle would run off. Annabelle and Luke jog back to the RV.
Annabelle feels uncomfortable spending another night in the RV with Luke and Dawn Celeste, but they welcome her by making dinner and playing cards. Afterward, everyone goes to bed in their cots. Even though Annabelle still feels anxious, she imagines letting the anxiety go. Annabelle realizes that this gives her “the most peaceful feeling, as if there’s a cool and reassuring hand on her forehead. She is safe and okay” (186).
Chapter 19 Summary
The next day Luke runs alongside Annabelle. After a half mile, Luke is exhausted and out of breath and tells Annabelle to keep running without him. As she runs, Annabelle thinks about letting go of the anxiety she feels surrounding The Taker. When she lets go of the anxiety, she feels sorrow and rage, and she wonders if she can handle those emotions, as “[h]er guilt and shame are almost a familiar comfort, compared to the depth of that sorrow and the breadth of that anger” (190).
Annabelle reaches a row of windmills. She is meeting her Grandpa, Dawn Celeste, and Luke at a Hutterites community, where they’ve been given permission to park for the night. The Hutterites are similar to the Amish but embrace technology. Annabelle reaches Dawn Celeste, who explains that they have lunch waiting inside. Dawn Celeste says she likes the Hutterites’ communal living style but doesn’t like “the sexist religious stuff,” explaining that she was “a proud bra burner and equal rights marcher back in the day” (191). Inside, Luke reads a book about a team of explorers in Antarctica. Annabelle and Luke bond over their love of reading.
After lunch, Luke and Annabelle explore the Hutterites community. A preacher gives them a tour, and Annabelle learns that the community is a large working farm that sells eggs and other products to local stores. Annabelle notes the men’s jeans, plaid shirts, and cowboy hats, and the women’s dresses and kerchiefs. Annabelle appreciates “the calm order of the place, the sense that the crazy world is out there, but it isn’t coming in” (194), but she doesn’t think she would like the religious side of the community. Luke agrees that it’s cool, but he wouldn’t want to be cut off from the world forever.
Chapter 20 Summary
Grandpa finally arrives at the Hutterites community. Annabelle, Luke, Dawn Celeste, and Grandpa all have dinner together in Grandpa’s RV. Annabelle notices that Dawn Celeste is wearing a nice dress and that she and Grandpa are flirting. Annabelle learns that Luke graduated high school early and went on to college, only to drop out before receiving his MBA. Now he is taking a year off to travel the country with his grandmother. Luke plans to eventually return to college for land management.
Dinner is interrupted by a knock on the door. Two young Hutterite women ask to speak to Annabelle. Nervous, Annabelle joins them outside. The women say they are excited to meet Annabelle because they saw her video on YouTube. Annabelle doesn’t know what video they are talking about. The women produce two cell phones, which Annabelle is surprised to see, but they explain that they have Wi-Fi and send a lot of texts. The women show Annabelle the video, which Annabelle realizes was uploaded by Malcolm. The video shows Annabelle lying in bed at a hotel. Malcolm, who is filming, asks Annabelle why she is running from Seattle to Washington, DC. Annabelle explains, “I have to do something” (201). The Hutterite women find the video inspiring.
Back at the RVs, Annabelle and Luke say goodbye. Annabelle realizes how nice it was to spend time with someone her own age. The next morning Annabelle gets up early and sets out for her run, wanting to avoid another emotional goodbye with Luke and Dawn Celeste. When Annabelle reaches her grandpa’s RV at the reservoir where they’ll park for the night, she finds a gift from Luke waiting on her pillow: the Antarctica explorers book he was reading.
Chapters 17-20 Analysis
In these chapters Annabelle and Luke grow closer. Their friendship is significant because it represents Annabelle’s ability to trust again, especially young men her own age. When Annabelle is first forced to spend a few nights in Dawn Celeste’s RV, she feels guilty for inconveniencing them. Annabelle “has always been—even before the tragedy—burdened by what she owes people […] she’s supposed to give and not take” (169). Annabelle feels as though she can’t take other people’s generosity and feels uncomfortable by Dawn Celeste and Luke’s kindness. Nevertheless, Luke joins Annabelle while she runs. He wants to make sure Annabelle is okay and also seems to take a genuine interest in her. When they’re back at Dawn Celeste’s RV for the night, Annabelle realizes no one is grilling her about her past or feels inconvenienced by her; instead, “They’re just… having fun” (184).
This moment is meaningful because it shows that Annabelle is learning to let go of her anxiety and enjoy the company and generosity of others. Annabelle feels that “[a]nxiety is like being in freeway traffic all the time. There’s the constant sense of dodging and darting, seeking your chance to cut in, the irritation of others pulling ahead of you” (185). In other words, Annabelle constantly feels anxious, and that affects her ability to interact with others because she fears she is irritating them. Annabelle also feels that “[h]er guilt and shame are almost a familiar comfort, compared to the depth of that sorrow and the breadth of that anger” (190). In some ways Annabelle uses anxiety and guilt as a shield to keep herself from experiencing deeper, more upsetting emotions like sadness and rage.
Nevertheless, Dawn Celeste and Luke offer Annabelle an opportunity to relax and have fun by not judging her past or treating her as an inconvenience. When it comes time for Annabelle to say goodbye to Luke, she realizes, “It’s been great, amazing, to have someone her own age around, someone who doesn’t just see the burnt wick of tragedy when he looks at her” (203). Luke appreciates Annabelle for her friendship and personality, and he doesn’t judge her based on her past. Annabelle’s relationship with Luke is significant because it teaches her that she doesn’t have to be constantly worried what others think of her and that she can have fun and be a normal teenager again.
In Chapter 18 Annabelle remembers what Dr. Mann suggested, that she “could quit her job of being responsible for everyone else’s feelings” (186). This line represents what Annabelle goes through in these chapters. Annabelle slowly stops worrying that she’s inconveniencing those around her. She also slowly tries to let go of the anxiety she feels. Even though she hasn’t completely let go of this anxiety, she is learning to relax and be more at peace.
