Every Day

Fiction | Novel | YA

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Themes

The Fluidity of Identity

A is not bound to the identity of one person. S/he experiences all genders, all sexualities, all ethnicities, all religions. S/he literally steps into the shoes of others, seamlessly shifting identities every twenty-four hours; as a result, A gains a deep empathy for all types of people. A’s experience allows them to understand that people are basically the same:“The only way I can navigate through my life is because of the 98% that every life has in common” (77). A simply does not have the time to focus too much on the body’s differences.

But the experience of difference is eye-opening for A, given A’s unique perspective on life. A’s movement from gender to gender, language to language, and race to race allows a broadness to their worldview. When Rhiannon presses A to tell her if A feels (to A) more like a boy or a girl, A cannot answer Rhiannon to her satisfaction. A is both…and neither. Rhiannon’s experience of being tied to one body makes it hard for her to understand this loose conceptualization of identity. It’s not surprising that A often feels most comfortable when A is in nature, which allows him/her to transcend the body’s limits and feel the enormity of life. The word “enormity” is often repeated in the book, referring to A’s feeling of losing their own sense of boundaries and seeing the big picture.

A experiences “enormity” through their relationship with Rhiannon as well. Rhiannon makes A feel expansive and more connected to the world. Ironically, while being with Rhiannon is freeing, it also makes A want a fixed identity, instead of living such a transient life. Being with Rhiannon gives A a sense of direction and meaning. This desire for an identity starts to exert pressure on A; no longer is A content to simply follow the trajectories that others have laid out for their own lives. A wants to follow his/her own path, a path A can share with another.

Defining Love as Connection and Commitment

A has never experienced love before, though A has experienced longing. Ever since A was little, A tried hard to stay with the families that A was temporarily a part of, not wanting to leave them every night. This childhood did not destroy A, as one might expect. Instead, A became a survivor, learning how to get through the day successfully, and impersonating her person based on the clues that A could deduce. A’s goal was simply to get through the twenty-four hours of the day without messing up the person’s life.

But then A meets Rhiannon, and A wants more. A doesn’t want to feel only longing for another; A wants to be longed for. A wants to be looked at and recognized, her/his feelings reciprocated. Further, A wants to follow her/his own desires, and A’s largest desire is to find a way to build a life with Rhiannon.

This connection with Rhiannon allows A to feel more connected to the world:“This is what love does: It makes you want to rewrite the world” (175). But A soon realizes that connections cannot simply be between two people. Love is rooted in the intricacies of daily life, including the web of connections surrounding a person: family, friends, acquaintances. To be cut off from this social aspect is too much for Rhiannon, which A ultimately understands. Love is not just about two people; it’s about the coming together of all the people that those two people love. It’s about the big picture.

Another part of love is commitment, and knowing that the other person will be there for you through it all. By the end of the book, A understands that love is a partnership. Life is experienced together, and then love can grow through shared experience. Rhiannon tells A, “You can’t be there for me” (153). By the end, A realizes the truth of this.

The Pressure of Time

Time is ever present in A’s mind. A is always running down the clock until midnight because that is how long A has in a host body. A needs to be asleep before midnight; otherwise, A will feel the painful ripping as A moves from one body to the next. A is also starting to be aware of their mortality. What will the future bring? What will A be able to accomplish? Who can they love?

These pressures force A to constantly navigate their strange relationship to past, present, and future. When A was younger, s/he never understood the concept of Tomorrow, a concept always denied to A. A never got a Yesterday either, since it was too hard to hold on to the memories of more than 6000 different lives. So, A is left only with the Present. But after meeting Rhiannon, s/he wants to experience all of time’s continuum, Past, Present, and Future.

By the end of the book, however, A realizes s/he cannot escape time’s rigid hold. S/he accepts that s/he can only have a Present with Rhiannon. So, A makes the most of it. S/he spends the day with Rhiannon as Alexander, and they enjoy living in the moment, pretending it’s their first day together. They banish talk of the Past and of the Future, savoring being fully alive in the moment. A does not plan anything other than buying groceries, cooking dinner, sharing a meal. But the very mundane nature of daily living is what A delights in; s/he only gets one chance to savor these passing moments. Together, A and Rhiannon make the Present expand, until the moment feels timeless.

Technology’s Power to Connect and Separate

Technology is what allows A to connect to Rhiannon. But the limits of technology also frustrate A. Often, while A is waiting for an email from Rhiannon to pop up in their inbox, life is unbearable. Or, if Rhiannon sends an email that is too vague, A wonders at the true meaning of Rhiannon’s message. Technology provides not only connection, but also, ironically, distance. Words are exchanged, but not face to face, and A is frustrated because s/he feels the words on a screen can never be enough.

But the power of technology cannot be denied. When A has to shut down her/his email account at the end of the book, so that s/he cannot be traced, A is mournful at losing this history of communication. As frustrating and imperfect as it is, digital technology allowed A to try and hold on to the past.