Every Day

Fiction | Novel | YA

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Chapters 37-39Chapter Summaries & Analyses

Chapter 37 Summary: “Day 6030”

A wakes up as Zara, who is in bed with her girlfriend, Amelia. A is happy to be in this bubble of happiness that Zara and Amelia have created, wishing for a relationship like this with Rhiannon: “The tenderness between two people can turn the air tender, the room tender, time itself tender” (298). When Amelia and Zara head to school, they are surrounded by their friends, and A understands what Rhiannon means when she said that it’s important to be able to share your relationship within a circle of friends.

A misses Rhiannon so much, especially as the relationship with Amelia makes A think of her constantly. A decides to drive to Rhiannon’s school, not to talk with her, but just to catch a glimpse of her: “From here, she doesn’t look like someone who’s recently lost something” (300). When Rhiannon looks up, it’s as if she maybe looking for A. A looks away, not wanting to get her attention.

A realizes s/he can never be with Rhiannon. Instead, s/he focuses on Zara’s relationship with Amelia, buying her snacks that Amelia would like, and spelling out her name on the car dashboard with those snacks. They go out to dinner, and even though Amelia can sense A’s distraction, s/he lets her be. This is exactly what A wants with Rhiannon, someone who truly understands. When s/he gets home, A sobs. S/he talks one last time with Amelia before going to bed. A knows she could never take Zara’s life away from her: “Even if I feel I deserve something like this, I don’t deserve it at her expense” (303).

Chapter 38 Summary: “Day 6031”

This is a very short chapter. 39 words long. A, currently July, is sick: “Is it sickness or is it heartbreak?” (304).

Chapter 39 Summary: “Day 6032”

Rhiannon sends an email to A, saying how much she loves A but also saying that she can’t be in a relationship with them: “You’re always going to leave me” (305). A, as Howie Middleton, tries to lose him/herself in the details of Howie’s life, but A realizes that s/he is making things worse, at least with Howie’s girlfriend, who doesn’t appreciate A/Howie’s silence.

A realizes s/he can’t continue things the way they are: “I have to go” (305).

Chapters 37-39 Analysis

As Zara, A is living the life s/he wants but wishes Zara’s girlfriend was Rhiannon. Otherwise, it’s the perfect life, filled with an understanding girlfriend, a circle of friends at school, and a loving mom, who may or may not know something about the relationship. And this makes it all the more painful to A, who knows s/he will never be able to have a relationship like this. When A spells out Amelia’s name on the dashboard using snacks, it parallels the romantic lunch scene between A and Rhiannon, when A outlined a heart for Rhiannon using chopsticks and Sweet and Low packets at the Chinese restaurant.

The realization that A will never have what Zara and Amelia have sets into his/her body, as s/he is physically ill the next day. The following day is also a brief chapter. A is too distracted and depressed about their situation. The reality of never being with Rhiannon is sinking in, and it renders A unable to perform. A withdraws into him/herself and is unable to connect with others.